• Six…

    • September 15, 2010 9:41 am

    Dearest Readers,

    What was the happiest moment of your life?

    An easy question to answer? Not for me. The question was put to me this morning and I found myself thinking back to one of my favourite comic strips in which Charlie Brown asks Lucy to to name one thing she likes about him and she says something along the lines of, “Wow. Gee. That’s a stumper. That’s a real poser all right. That’s a puzzle. That’s a real tough one…”

    She uses just about every synonym for “difficult question” that there is. I could find lots of things I like about poor good old, wishy washy Charlie Brown but I happen to feel the same way Lucy does about the question “What was the happiest moment of your life?” I can certainly think of lots of happy moments but the happiest? The pinnacle moment, the moment that surpasses all other things? That one really is a stumper.

    When I got accepted into the National Theatre School of Canada I was pretty happy. I’d been rejected twice before and I’ll never forget the phone call that came saying, “You’re in.” I was ecstatic. But could I call it the happiest moment of my life? I don’t know.

    Then there was the phone call asking me to write a play for the Stratford Festival of Canada. Again, I was over the moon. But I’m not sure the moment deserves the title of “happiest”.

    I’ve heard a number of women describe the birth of their first child as the happiest moment. I could certainly see that being true but I don’t happen to have a kid. I got to witness the birth of my older sister’s first baby this year and no doubt it will top her happiest list. I was extremely happy for her but it wasn’t the happiest moment of my life.

    If I took the time I could probably create a list of the happiest moments. There have been lots of them. Falling in love, receiving certain kinds of recognition, getting off the booze and the dope, climbing mountains, performing on stage, helping other people on the Healing Path. All moments, all happy. But the happiest? Like I said, this one is a true puzzler.

    Maybe my resistance is coming from a place of cynicism. What followed all of these happy moments was not necessarily all happiness. It was life. Challenges ensued. Lessons were learned. Growth took place. All of these elements didn’t take away from the happy moment itself but nevertheless preclude the “happiest” definition taking root.

    Perhaps I haven’t had my happiest moment yet. I like that idea. It’s kind of exciting to think that the happiest moment of my life hasn’t actually happened. Something to look forward to, yes?

    That Charlie Brown strip ended with Lucy walking off in the last panel with the synonyms for “impossible question to answer” trailing behind her. Picture me in the same way, still thinking, still wondering, still searching…

    Inspiring Message of the Day: To be happy means to be Present. When I am here, now, in my body, grounded in my life as it happens, there is no other happiness. What if the happiest moment of my life could occur over and over again throughout the day, each and every day because I am practicing True Presence? I will do my best to stay here today, in the happiness of Now.

    Stay in the Game

    • May 25, 2010 11:27 am

    Dearest Readers,

    “I am dry, dry, dry.”

    This quote, from a scene I co-wrote with a girlfriend way back when I was in theatre school, keeps running through my head as I sit here searching for inspiration. Nothing is coming but that refrain.

    “I am dry, dry, dry.”

    The scene came out of an exercise in writing class. We got into pairs and started improvising dialogue. The gal I was paired with was a good friend. We immediately took on characters with Southern accents. Suddenly she was Delores and I was Sugar.

    Delores: There ain’t nobody in my life. I am dry. Dry.Dry.

    Sugar: That’s just an excuse.

    Delores: Honey, I’m talking in facts. It’s that simple. I’m all dried up. Dry as a bone and there ain’t no well in sight.

    Okay, my memory isn’t that good. I had to go and find the scene in my files. The pages are a little yellow at the edges and the ink is fading from the passage of time but those gals are still talkin’. It’s been sixteen years.

    What’s a writer to do when she’s dry as a bone with no well in sight? What has she to offer?

    Let’s try a little bit more Sugar…

    Sugar: You know what I used to do when I was younger? I’d open up the cupboard and inside we had one of them spinnin’ shelves you know like a… Lazy Susan? And I used to spin it around like I was spinnin’ for that big orange dollar on The Price is Right. If it stopped facin’ the way it started I felt like I’d won the big prize.

    From here Delores and Sugar go on to talk about aging.

    Delores: Don’t you wish you could hide it? I mean honestly.

    Sugar: No, I don’t. I was taught to be proud of growin’ old. It don’t scare me none.

    Delores: Not even a tiny eeny weeny bitty bit?

    Sugar: Lookin’ old just don’t come into it for me. And you won’t see me at Johnson’s Drug Store lookin’ for a miracle cure to make me look the age I was when I was the most messed up.

    Delores: You won’t see me there either. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel the effects. The fear. I mean, I’m strong. I’m not gonna buy into no market thing. I buy that growin’ old with dignity shit, too. But it don’t mean it don’t scare me though.

    Sugar: You’re right. You’re much better at admittin’ yer fears than I am, Delores.

    Delores: I’ve just had three more beers than you, honey.

    It’s funny for me to read this now. Even way back then the characters I created had trouble admitting they were afraid. To see how far I’ve come in this area you can listen to a new speech on facing fear that I just posted on YouTube. Make sure to watch Part Two as well.

    Hurrah! The dry well has water in it. Sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to get at it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am feeling uninspired I will stay in the game, I will keep moving forward, I will trust that inspiration will come. One more step, one more sentence, one more moment may just bring me to the flowing spring.