Dearest Readers,
It’s been an interesting couple of weeks since I arrived back in Whitehorse after traveling for two months. I’ve been negotiating my way through all kinds of feelings while simultaneously playing the contrasting games of catch-up and future-trip.
Needless to say, I found myself hitting the wall of overwhelm yesterday.
The good news is I didn’t hit it going 100 mph. More like 30 or 40. But impact is still impact no matter what speed you’re going. It’s still a direct hit.
Do you journal, Dear Reader? It’s such a great tool. I didn’t know I was feeling overwhelmed until I started writing about it last night. I’d had an emotional day but if you had asked me what was going on I probably couldn’t have named it.
After about 4 pages of processing what was in my head and what was in my heart I finally found the words:
I’m overwhelmed.
Even just saying it takes the pressure off! I actually woke up feeling relief. Even though the status of my current to-do list has not changed since last night I’m not presently feeling the tension of having too much on my plate. Something has shifted.
What happened? Well, now I’ve got awareness. I know what it is I’m really feeling. The simple tool of identification has done absolute wonders for my well-being. We have to name it. When we name it we can then address it head on.
What, exactly, is “it”? All together now: It is the fear.
It’s always about the fear, in my opinion. The little bugger won’t give up. Like the Energizer Bunny, fear just keeps on banging its little brass cymbals ad infinitum, ’til death do us part.
What is the fear behind the feeling of overwhelm? In my case, it is most likely the fear of financial insecurity. The fear of failure is probably lurking in there somewhere, too. Both are ungrounded and illogical but nonetheless present and accounted for.
So out comes the tool kit, folks.
1. Name it: I’m overwhelmed.
2. Become willing to address it. I’m willing to change.
3. Practice letting go: Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
4. PLAML: Pray like a mother-lover.
The key for me in this process is number 2. It’s so humbling! You mean, there’s more fear inside of me? I have to change again? I didn’t graduate from the Fearless Forever Class of 2010 yet?
Not yet. I suppose it’s a good thing. I’ll have something authentic to teach next month.
Inspiring Message of the Day: To journal faithfully is to discover a marvelous way of uncovering our underlying emotional state of being. When I am in need of a yet another shift from fear to faith I will pick up a pen and write until I can identify the unexpressed fear.
