• Sticks and Stones

    • February 14, 2011 8:43 am

    Dearest Readers,

    A couple of years ago I posted a video on YouTube of a speech I did at a Toastmasters Conference. The speech won first prize. Recently I received notice in the ol’ inbox that a new comment had been posted on the video’s page. I’d like to share this comment with you now.

    Here it is:

    “You do realise it’s EXACTLY the very people claiming to have relationships with supernatural beings who are materialists and killing people over it !?? Depravity in the name of spirituality, that’s all it is, that turkey day is not celebrated by a majority free thinkers, that convicted criminals in jails are disproportionately followers of “higher powers”. Stop lying will you. Just say openly you’re a blind god follower, blind to the harms religion and “higher callings” cause humanity!”

    Naturally, I was shocked. I’m not used to getting comments like this. Immediately I began to think about how I might reply, defend my position, stand up for myself. This turned into a mild obsession and so I decided to let it go until I had more clarity. It’s now been a week since I got the email and still I’ve not responded.

    What strikes me most about this person’s message (who, by the way, calls herself tallard666) is that it is so angry. Though I didn’t respond to the comment on the YouTube page I did share a post on Facebook that day saying, “Some people are very angry. I understand. I know what it means to be angry.”

    And I do. I’m dealing with the release of some old anger issues right now, as a matter of fact. And I, too, get rageful at the idea of people killing in the name of God. Whenever I hear someone like George W. Bush mention the war in Iraq and God in the same sentence I feel steam start to blow out of my ears. Or if I read something about terrorists blowing people up for God’s glory I experience great despair.

    In this sense I suppose I agree with tallard666. People who do violence and simultaneously claim to do be doing God’s will scare me. The God (or Universe or Higher Power or Creator or Spirit of Unity Back of All Things) I believe in is one of Love, of Peace and of Justice. And by Justice I mean Equality, not vengeance.

    I’m not sure where tallard666 has gotten her statistic about convicted criminals. I’ve done volunteer work in prisons and jails on and off for the last almost 12 years. My experience is that convicted criminals are most often deeply wounded people who have been terribly abused by poverty, addiction and mental illness. Some, but not all, have found healing through some kind of a Higher Power and have changed their lives for the better as a result.

    Let us all be allowed to believe what we would like to believe. Let us not hate other people for believing something that we do not. Let us learn to express our anger in useful and just ways. Let us accept one another without judgment. This is Higher Power at work: Love and Tolerance.

    As for being “blind to the harms religion and “higher callings” cause humanity,” I can only say that the opposite is true. Religious abuse makes me feel sick. But Religion is not God. It is a way to worship God and so religion is neither good nor bad. It is a path. Some religious people are wounded and so they wound others. Other religious people have helped to make the world a better place. Mother Teresa. Martin Luther King Jr. Saint Francis of Assisi.

    Am I a “blind god follower”? Au contraire. I once was blind. But now I see.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will continue to do the work of Love. I will respond with compassion to those who have little or feel none.

    Seven…

    • September 14, 2010 8:55 am

    Dearest Readers,

    In 2000 I did a month-long stint with Calgary’s One Yellow Rabbit Performance Theatre. Each summer they facilitate a Summer Lab and I was lucky enough to get a “scholarship” to go and participate. It had a profound impact on my career as a performer.

    At the start, all the “Labbits”, as we came to be called, introduced ourselves by sharing something peculiar or particular about our lives. One gal named Anne Loree revealed that she was the songwriter behind Jann Arden‘s major hit “Insensitive.” We all oohed and aahed because it was pretty cool to be in the presence of a bonafide hit-maker (number 12 on the US Billboard Hot 100). At the end of the Lab Anne played the song for us in performance. It was a real thrill.

    This morning I’m singing that song. “Maybe you might have some advice to give/on how to be/insensitive.” I’m not singing it about someone else, folks. I’m singing it about me.

    A friend of mine just told me that a few weeks back I sent her an email that contained a comment that really upset her. She couldn’t believe I had written it. It was in shockingly bad taste. She’s been hurting since then and only yesterday did she finally feel ready to confront me about it.

    God. Really? Ugh. So humbling. So challenging to hear this from a dear friend. It’s not the first time, either. Blasted email! How I wish I could blame it on this ridiculous form of communication that causes so many problems, so many misunderstandings and misinterpretations. But no. I cannot shirk this. I must take responsibility for my actions.

    After listening to my friend and apologizing and having a good cry with her about the situation we were able to laugh together and move on. (Now that’s communication.) But I went home still feeling the discomfort of what had transpired. My friend and I had already established that I had not been on top of my game when I sent the email (no kidding) but what else?

    That’s when the word insensitive came to me. Sort of like a beacon in the night. Kind of written across the sky. I can be insensitive. Not a beautiful moment. Not the type of epiphany I really enjoy having. Like a woolly sweater that itches in all the wrong spots. Get it off me.

    Alas, I must wear it before I can take it off. I gotta own it before it can be taken away. So I’m owing it. I’m not saying, “I am an insensitive person.” This is too harsh. “I can be insensitive,” is a gentler admission. It also means I have the quality rather than I am the quality.

    The Inner Work before me now is vital. Now that I have the awareness I need to be willing to change and be changed. I asked my friend how I could make amends to her. (An apology is great but it doesn’t always repair the damage.) She made a suggestion. I’m going to take it. I’m also committing to refraining from sending emails with flippant comments. This means re-reading what I’ve written and saving the message in the drafts folder if I’m unsure.

    Lastly, I can use prayer to heal the underlying fear or wound. What’s insensitivity but self-centredness? What is self-centredness but fear? What is fear but a disconnection from Love? Return me to Love. Heal me. Make me whole.

    With all of these steps I’m hoping instead I might have some advice to give on how to be more sensitive.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We’re not perfect. We make mistakes. Rather than beating myself up and increasing the shame I will commit to Healing Action. I will make things right where I can and leave the rest to a Loving Higher Power.

    Burn After Reading

    • July 12, 2010 8:49 am

    Dearest Readers,

    When I started this blog last year I told myself I was going to commit to posting six days a week for one year. This morning I went back to the old blog site to check the start date. I had a feeling the one-year anniversary was coming soon.

    When I clicked on the first post I saw that it is dated September 21, 2009, later than I’d imagined. When I read the Inspiring Message of the Day I thought, “How apropos.”

    Here is what it says:

    “When something happens to me that I do not like, that feels like cruel and unusual punishment, I will see it as an opportunity for growth. I will use it to change the world, be of service, help others. I will thank the person/place/thing that gave me the lesson, for he/she/it is my greatest teacher.”

    Last week, when I was in New York City hanging out with with my good friend at Bryant Park, the boiling hot tea I’d just purchased got knocked off the table and splashed all over my leg. I’ve been walking around with a second degree burn on my thigh the size and shape of Eurasia ever since.

    Reading the above statement is a good reminder. Pain is one of the quickest ways to head into Why ME? territory and believe me, I know how to hold a pity-party and invite all my friends to come. This burn is giving me the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is.

    How can I use this incident to grow and to be of service? Already it has offered me ample opportunity to practice letting go, an area of spiritual practice where there is always room for improvement. The service part is slightly more challenging as I’m somewhat limited in my physical ability but I am doing my best to be of use to my pregnant sister and her partner in whatever way I am able.

    Primarily, the teaching seems to be about mindfulness (watch what I’m doing, be present, be careful) and non-judgment (practice compassion for those who are suffering). If there is a more clear and obvious answer as to why this happened I haven’t been given it yet.

    When I was praying and meditating on that very question I heard only this: More will be revealed. I’m trusting that and doing that letting-go-thing while I wait.

    Oh, and thank-you burn for the teaching.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will put my money where my mouth is and practice what I preach. I will uphold the faith I have in a Benevolent and Loving Power and trust that I am here to learn, let go and trust.