• FUDJ It!

    • November 9, 2024 3:09 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    How are you doing? Hard times they come again. I hope you are finding moments of connection to remind you of Lifeā€™s beauty, profundity and depth.

    In hard times, acronyms help. Thereā€™s QTIP (Quit Taking Things Personally), which is useful when I am feeling hurt by someone else. And thereā€™s PAUSE (Postpone Action Until Serenity Emerges) for the times when I want to fix a difficult situation or force a solution. You see How Acronyms Work?HAW!

    I recently came up with my own acronym when I had the opportunity to do a work-presentation on self-care: FUDJ (to be employed when you want to say the other F-word.)

    Hereā€™s the breakdown:

    F is for Faith and Fun.

    Everyone has faith in something. For some, itā€™s God or a Higher Power. For others, itā€™s the arrival of Spring or a dear friend who is always there. How could you allow your own unique faith to energize you? Or to console or comfort you?

    And ā€¦ are you having fun yet? If not, why not? What did you find fun as a kid? What if you could do more of that? Try bringing more fun into your life.

    U is for Understand.

    How could ā€œunderstandingā€ soften the edges? Understanding toward ourselves: Iā€™m doing the best I can with what I have at any given time. Toward others: they are, too. How about Understanding the Universe? (Thatā€™s a double U.) Try zooming out and looking at the Big Picture to understand that we are here for only a little time and that we donā€™t know everything.

    D is for Decide.

    I donā€™t have a lot of power to change the world but I do have the power to change my perception, my thinking, and my reactions. If things are affecting me negatively, I can decide to see things differently. I can look through a lens of gratefulness, or compassion or acceptance. That is power I do have.

    J is for Judgment and Joy.

    Iā€™ve learned that when I am judging others Iā€™m often just trying to feel safe. It is a way to feel like I have control. And when I am in judgment Iā€™m obviously not in Joy. So where do you find joy? Thatā€™s a tough one for me. Joy has been elusive. But it is possible to cultivate it. So I try to do that. And I take care of the part of me that doesnā€™t feel safe. Try moving from judgment to joy, when/if possible.

    If you are struggling in these hard times and find yourself saying FUC* it, try saying FUDJ it instead. And if it makes you think of real fudge, good. Let sweetness prevail.

    From the trenches,

    Celia

    Have Faith?

    • August 18, 2021 8:02 am

    Dearest Readers,

    A number of years ago, when I was just at the beginning of what I would now call the conscious spiritual journey, a friend said to me, “Have faith,” after I bombarded her with a fearful tirade of controlling remarks.

    Have faith.

    Her words had the right effect. I calmed down and took a breath. I knew I had to let go of whatever was causing me anxiety in that fraught moment and this little phrase helped me to do that.

    ‘Have faith’ can mean anything to anyone, really. It can mean believing in God but it can also mean trusting in the human spirit.

    I work with a lot of people who have either lost their faith or simply don’t have any to begin with. Some of them once believed in a God that was ‘good’ but because they see so much ‘bad’ they no longer do. This makes sense. ‘Belief’ is fickle. It can be too easily eroded by the ‘thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.’ (That’s Hamlet.)

    Having faith requires trust and trusting is different than believing. In what do I trust?

    I trust that I am not the Power Making the Planets Spin.Ā 

    I trust that the Spirit of Goodness will prevail. It may take a week, a month, a year, century or a millennium but eventually things work out. This quote sums it up: ‘If it ends, it ends well. If it doesn’t end well, it’s not over yet.’

    I trust that the Universe knows what It is doing. When looks like the world is going to hell in a hand basket I remember that a heck of a lot has happened before now and a heck of a lot is going to happen after now. We are still evolving. I trust that.

    Have faith.

    It’s easy to say. I could have had a different reaction all those years ago when my friend said those words to me (f*ck off comes to mind). But she wasn’t being flippant. She was reassuring me. And because I do have faith, not blind-everything-happens-for-a-reason-spiritual-bypassing-faith, but faith in the stars and the sun and the moon, in the galaxies and the entire cosmic dance, in the grass growing and the trees blowing and the unfolding of history and the miraculous present and the uncertain future. I have faith in the steadfast spirit of the animals, in the perseverance of people who continue to fight for justice and equality despite staggering injustices and inequality, in the kindness of strangers and the generosity of neighbours and, finally, in the Transformative, Radical, Unconditional Love that seems to permeate Everything and defies logic and intellectual understanding.

    Have faith, she said. I listened. And I let go.

    And I’m still listening and I’m still letting go. Because I still like to hold on. And I doubt and I question and I fear and I rage. And I have faith.

    May we all have faith right now. Not faith that ‘everything will be okay’. But that everything will be. Because it is.

    From the fires of love,

    Celia