Dearest Readers,
The other day a woman whom I’ve known for many years but have not seen for a good while approached me with a big hug and a kiss and extremely glad tidings. Of course I returned the affection with pleasure and we promised to connect in the coming days but I walked away feeling confused. The last time I had seen this woman she had seemed less than thrilled to see me. Even somewhat cold. What had changed?
Last night we had the opportunity to connect once more and after catching up and sharing the last few years of our lives it came out. Rather, I deduced it, for she would never have said, “This is why I am being kind to you again,” but sometimes words reveal more than other words can say.
Last year she had left me a phone message — business related — and I had called her back, got her voice mail, and left her a reply message. In my message I gave her encouragement and validation. I had heard of a real success she had made and so praised and celebrated her achievements, validating her hard work in the process.
As we spoke last evening she recalled getting my message and with hand on heart, described how much it had meant to her, how it had caused her to reflect on her hard work and finally validate it for her Self. It was a deeply felt moment for both of us though she may not have guessed as much for me.
The lesson here is twofold: One, never make assumptions. When this woman seemed so happy to see me I assumed all kinds of things, none of which had any kind of accuracy. Two, a little encouragement goes a long way.
Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will take the time to genuinely encourage another person. When we praise, celebrate and validate someone else’s progress or success it comes back to us in untold ways.
I so agree. Specific or detailed praise feels more authentic. Probably because it is! Good reminder, Fawn, thanks for posting.
Another thing I’ve discovered in the past few years is how much I appreciate SPECIFIC praise. Not simply, “You’re such a great mom!” or “You’re so talented!” although those feel good, too. But one friend in particular is very good at saying, “I really enjoyed your performance because of X, Y, and Z, and that really showed (whatever) and made me feel (this way).” It’s amazing how this seems to make the praise weightier; it’s clear that he really paid attention and thought about what was particularly praiseworthy and unique to my efforts.