• FUDJ It!

    • November 9, 2024 3:09 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    How are you doing? Hard times they come again. I hope you are finding moments of connection to remind you of Lifeā€™s beauty, profundity and depth.

    In hard times, acronyms help. Thereā€™s QTIP (Quit Taking Things Personally), which is useful when I am feeling hurt by someone else. And thereā€™s PAUSE (Postpone Action Until Serenity Emerges) for the times when I want to fix a difficult situation or force a solution. You see How Acronyms Work?HAW!

    I recently came up with my own acronym when I had the opportunity to do a work-presentation on self-care: FUDJ (to be employed when you want to say the other F-word.)

    Hereā€™s the breakdown:

    F is for Faith and Fun.

    Everyone has faith in something. For some, itā€™s God or a Higher Power. For others, itā€™s the arrival of Spring or a dear friend who is always there. How could you allow your own unique faith to energize you? Or to console or comfort you?

    And ā€¦ are you having fun yet? If not, why not? What did you find fun as a kid? What if you could do more of that? Try bringing more fun into your life.

    U is for Understand.

    How could ā€œunderstandingā€ soften the edges? Understanding toward ourselves: Iā€™m doing the best I can with what I have at any given time. Toward others: they are, too. How about Understanding the Universe? (Thatā€™s a double U.) Try zooming out and looking at the Big Picture to understand that we are here for only a little time and that we donā€™t know everything.

    D is for Decide.

    I donā€™t have a lot of power to change the world but I do have the power to change my perception, my thinking, and my reactions. If things are affecting me negatively, I can decide to see things differently. I can look through a lens of gratefulness, or compassion or acceptance. That is power I do have.

    J is for Judgment and Joy.

    Iā€™ve learned that when I am judging others Iā€™m often just trying to feel safe. It is a way to feel like I have control. And when I am in judgment Iā€™m obviously not in Joy. So where do you find joy? Thatā€™s a tough one for me. Joy has been elusive. But it is possible to cultivate it. So I try to do that. And I take care of the part of me that doesnā€™t feel safe. Try moving from judgment to joy, when/if possible.

    If you are struggling in these hard times and find yourself saying FUC* it, try saying FUDJ it instead. And if it makes you think of real fudge, good. Let sweetness prevail.

    From the trenches,

    Celia

    You’re Doing Great! (or the thing we never tell ourselves)

    • November 9, 2024 3:04 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    Times continue to be tough the world over. How are you doing? Not bad? Okay? Barely hanging on?

    However this letter finds you, I am thankful you are with me in this moment, reading these words, connecting in this small way on the Path of Life. We are not alone even though we may feel lonely sometimes.

    Itā€™s been a few months since the last letter. Summer took over. Family arrived. Adventures happened.

    If you are new to this blog, welcome! If you’ve been reading for a while, you already know that I am all about doing my inner work.

    Why? Because I donā€™t like to suffer. So when Iā€™m in the pit of despair (as I like to call it), I will get to work on examining the problem, seeking the solution and taking action to heal. (Iā€™ve been accused of being intense šŸ˜‰

    Sometimes I resist the healing process and wallow in the mire, but I remain pretty consistently willing to let go of my old ideas and do the good work of changing my perception/attitude/behaviour in order to feel better.

    Lately, the bulk of my inner work has been about reassuring myself when Iā€™m anxious, afraid, shut down, angry, sad, or critical. Sometimes, itā€™s as simple as putting my hand on my chest and saying, ā€œIā€™m here.ā€ Other times, Iā€™m in full-on cheerleading mode, looking in the mirror and saying, ā€œYouā€™re doing great!ā€

    Itā€™s taken me a long time to learn how to do these simple actions. The inner critic has been my constant companion (and often fights back). How much easier it has been to see that you are doing your best but me? Iā€™ve practically made ā€œnot measuring upā€ a lifestyle choice!

    Years ago, as a healing ritual, I bought a measuring stick at the hardware store, broke it into pieces (with furor), lit a small fire in the yard and watched it burn. It wasnā€™t the end of measuring my life performance but it was the beginning of practicing stopping the thoughts that tell me Iā€™m not good enough. Stopping the negative self-talk. Stopping the judgment.

    These days, taking it one step further and reassuring myself has proven to be a highly effective strategy for well-being.

    ā€œYouā€™re doing great!ā€

    Really? Iā€™m doing great?

    ā€œYes! You are!ā€

    No, no. Let me give you a long list of how Iā€™m not doing great! Let me tell you how Iā€™m failing!

    But what if doing great meant nothing more than being alive in these hard times? What if it was actually enough just to get up, do the day and go to bed?

    ā€œYou did that? You made it through another day? You are a successful human being!ā€

    Because staying alive in this world is an accomplishment in itself. It is enough just to be here and get through it.

    Whenever the measuring stick comes back out and I start to feel the anxiety mounting, I take it upon myself to validate my be-ing with loving words.

    Sometimes it takes more convincing than other times but Iā€™m learning to be my own best friend. And it helps.

    Wherever you are on your own Healing Journey, youā€™re doing great!

    Love and blessings,

    Celia