• Animal Medicine

    • February 28, 2023 2:36 pm
    Dearest Readers,

    Since publishing my memoir, I’ve been taking time to discern my next creative project. Write something new? What about all the stories that didn’t make it into the book? I have a mountain of them.

    I thought maybe I could publish the occasional piece here. The story below, about an encounter with a beaver, got cut out of the memoir because one of the editors said, “Too many animals!”

    There were a lot of animal stories. Encounters with woodpeckers and bears and deer and armadillos and beavers have always made me feel as though the Cosmos is conscious of me. When I am at my lowest, animals show up, and it always feels like I’m being reassured by a Loving Force.

    Here is the story of The Beaver:

    Have you seen the TV movie adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge? The Mayor, played by Ciarán Hinds, has made some terrible decisions, most of them while drinking. His protégé, Donald Farfrae, on the other hand, is a more saintly man, with very few troubles or fears.

    One evening, the Mayor confides in Farfrae and shares honestly with the young man about his despair. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

    “… I sank into one of those gloomy fits I sometimes suffer from … when the world seems to have the blackness of hell, and, like Job, I could curse the day that gave me birth.”

    “Ah, now, I never feel like it,” said Farfrae.

    “Then pray to God that you never may, young man.”

    When I was watching this scene in the film, I fully expected the young man to say, “Ah, yes, I understand.” But he says the opposite. This dropped my jaw.

    You mean there are actually people out there who have no idea what that kind of hopelessness feels like?

    Those of us who do understand these black, gloomy fits know well how hard it is to cope with them. Sometimes there is no remedy but to ride them out.

    On a day when I was in the kind of despair that the Mayor described, I walked to the Yukon River for relief. Nature is often one of the surest ways to lift the blackness of hell and I knew being outside would help.

    I found a bench by a bend in the river and began to pray. I remember saying the words, “Take me, God, I am willing to die.”

    SLAP!

    I opened my eyes. A beaver was in the water right in front of me.

    SPLASH!

    It dove underwater and I watched it resurface a few feet further upriver.

    Suddenly, my self-pity evaporated. The Beaver had woken me up.

    In that moment, it was as though I’d swallowed a fast-acting miracle. I became willing to live.

    —

    That’s a super-abridged version of the story but you get the idea. Reflecting on it now, I am again struck by what I call Impeccable Timing. The slap of the beaver’s tail at the instant when I “cursed the day that gave me birth.” I wasn’t alone, I was known.

    From the fires of love,

    Celia

    The Ups of Down

    • February 16, 2023 9:50 am

    This Blog was published first as The Healing Journey Letter. Click here to Subscribe.Dearest Readers,

    As as child of the 70s and 80s, I would have considered 2023 to be “The Future” when I was growing up. It amazes me that The Future is now the present, and though we don’t have flying cars (yet), technology is boldly taking us where no one has been before.

    That said, times are really tough. I sincerely hope that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you are finding the love, care and support you need to live through the pains of this day and age. I know it’s not easy.

    If you’ve been reading my letters, you’ll know that in September 2021 I began to experience health challenges. In mid-October 2022, just over a year later, I started to feel better.

    Can I get a “hallelujah”?

    Thank you. It feels great. Lifestyle changes definitely helped, but time, more than anything else, seems to have made the real difference.

    Over the course of the year, some of you heard me describe my 3-part wellness program:

    Turn people down; let people down; lie down.

    A friend suggested I share it with all of you, so here is The Down Remedy:

    1. Turn people down:

    Someone asks you to do something for them.
    You don’t want to do it but you are willing to sacrifice your well-being so they won’t be disappointed.
    You realize the insanity of that line of thinking and understand there is no having it both ways:
    You either honour your feelings or you please them.
    You say NO.
    They are disappointed but the world doesn’t stop.

    2. Let people down:

    People admire you.
    You have shown yourself to be someone who can handle anything.
    You start to make decisions (see #1) that shatter people’s opinion of you.
    You are no longer a superhero in the eyes of many.
    Again, amazingly, the world doesn’t stop.

    3. Lie down:

    You don’t want to rest.
    You want to keep stimulating, keep doing, keep going.
    Instead, you force yourself to lie down, to close your eyes, to let go and rest.
    The world does stop, for a while.
    And it’s a very good thing.

    Take as prescribed, Gentle Readers.

    From the fires of love,

    Celia