• Give it Away Now

    • November 30, 2009 8:00 am

    Dearest Readers,

    I hope you all had a wonderful Sunday. It’s the start of a new week and though I like to live one day at a time (to the best of my ability) it’s beginning to feel a lot (more) like Christmas.

    The lights are up, the music is playing in the stores, the countdown is on.

    I can actually get into the Christmas spirit. It’s not about the shopping for me at all but that feeling of excitement that can only be felt around this time of year.

    Not everyone feels it. I know a woman who associates Christmas with the death of her father and being drunk for many years and so ruining it for her kid. I heard her say, “I’m sure everybody hates Christmas.” That’s how much she hated it. So much that she believed everyone else did, too.

    And no doubt the homeless living in this city and others have no love for this time of year. And the incarcerated. This season is about togetherness and connectedness with family and friends and anyone who is in a situation where this is impossible acutely feels the loss of it and therefore is not happy about the advent of the holidays.

    I’m going to be staying home this year. I’ve decided not to travel to be with my family and so it’ll be just me and the cat. I’ve got lots of friends with whom I can spend the time and so I’ll do that but I’m also going to nest and enjoy the solitude.

    Since I have no obligations I’m also looking to where I can be of service. How can I help? How can I give away some of the “spirit” I’m feeling? What can I do to share the love and hope in my life with others who feel they have none? This is my prayer.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: As the holiday season approaches I will look for opportunities to be of service to others. I will share the spirit of the season by giving of myself when I am called to do so.

    Play for Keeps

    • November 28, 2009 8:40 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s Saturday. I love Saturdays. I think it has to be my favourite day of the week. I’m self-employed so Saturday is a work day for me but I’m choosing to work. M-F I feel like I have to work because everyone else does, too. The work I do on Saturdays feels like fun.

    Because I’m doing fun things on Saturdays in between the work tasks. I’m watching You Tube and e-shopping. And I stay in my PJ’s until I have to go out, if I do. I’m playing.

    That’s what Saturday is. It’s Play Day.

    When I was a kid growing up in Toronto (after we left the Yukon) there was an actual day at the end of the school year called Play Day. I think I looked forward to that day from just about the first school day in September. It was a beacon of light at the end of a long tunnel of lessons.

    Play Day took place at a location we called the Reservoir, just near the famous Casa Loma. We’d all traipse up there from our little school in Rosedale and play games all day. There were water-balloon fights and three-legged races, races with an egg held on a teaspoon, and races in burlap sacs. Lots of races!

    It was always sunny, the beginning of summer days to come. There were vats of that orange McDonald’s drink that’s not quite pop but not quite juice either. It was glorious.

    So I usually waken on Saturdays with that orange-McDonald’s-drink feeling. I would never ingest that stuff today but the memory of it is enough to make a girl go out and find a friend, tie our outside legs together and run in three-legged style across an open field.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Do something FUN today. A kid’s game. Something that evokes the feeling of childhood freedom and innocent times. Make it a Play Day!

    "Connect. Only Connect."

    • November 27, 2009 10:28 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The title of today’s post comes from a quote by the great author E.M. Forster, writer of brilliant novels like “A Passage to India” and “Howard’s End”. The reason for the quote? Read on.

    One of the many things I’ve learned on the healing path is that I can start my day over again at any time during the course of said day.

    This news was a revelation to me, a gal who could carry her bad moods into next week and hold on to resentments for years. I didn’t know about letting go. I didn’t know about starting over. Every moment a new opportunity to begin again? Wow. What a concept.

    Well, I’ve started my day over about 14 times already and it’s only 9 o’clock.

    It began with waking up later than I’d planned. The barfing-jump-on-my-stomach cat-alarm-clock took the day off so I woke up at 7:30 instead of 6:30. If you’d ever have told me that there’d be a time in my life when getting up at 7:30 a.m. would be “sleeping in” I’d not have believed you.

    “You can start your day over, Celia. Start it now.”

    The next thing was realizing how tired I actually am. Bone tired. So that got the fear flowing because I’ve got a full day planned.

    “Start your day over, Celia. Start it now.”

    But… that’s really it. Other than waking up late and feeling tired, things are just fine. There’s nothing wrong. I didn’t break a dish, spill the milk, step in it, or experience any other minor catastrophe that would necessitate the “start your day over” practice. I simply woke up late and I’m tired.

    “Start your day over, Celia. Start it now.”

    So I’m starting over in this moment by using today’s blog for me. I need inspiring. And you know what’s going to inspire me? YOU.

    I happened to meet another reader yesterday and she took the time to tell me she’s been following and enjoying and feeling inspired by the posts. Her comments made me so happy I cannot tell you.

    Just knowing you’re all out there fills me with such appreciation and joyfulness. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to connect with all of you each day. It’s enough to turn any grey day into sunshine.

    So that’s where the Forster quote comes in. My energy is low but connecting with you, Dearest Readers, is the springboard I need to live the day fully and passionately. So thank you for being there.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Knowing I am not alone in the world alters my being. Connecting with others uplifts the spirits and heals the heart.

    Every Cloud…

    • November 26, 2009 8:00 am

    Dearest Readers,

    There’s nothing like waking up to the sound of a hairball making its way up a cat’s gullet at 5:30 a.m. Probably a good thing. I would have ignored the alarm clock.

    Instead, I woke up like a shot to push the cat off the bed so he wouldn’t barf up the hairball on the comforter. He kindly did his business on the floor and I got out of bed.

    If everything happens for a reason then that cat exists to get me out of bed.

    Does everything happen for a reason?

    Recently, I was working with a group of young women on a show they’re creating about safe sex. We were sitting in a sharing circle, which started our day of activities, and I asked them each to answer me two things: what did she fear and in what did she have faith?

    We went around the circle and most were very open about the fear part. Some were as open about the faith answer but many of them couldn’t come up with anything at all.

    One gal said she believed everything happens for a reason and at the end of the discussion I asked how many others believed this as well. Some put up their hands, others didn’t. One was particularly vocal about why she absolutely didn’t believe this to be true.

    I’m not sure if I believe it myself. I subscribe to something similar but it may be described in a slightly different way. I believe that some purpose can be drawn from everything that happens; something positive can always be found from the seemingly negative.

    Every cloud has a silver lining? Yes, I think that’s right.

    I’ll never forget one of the first times I began to see this belief system in action. I was living in Edmonton at the time, in pretty dire circumstances, but it was also a time of awakening to the idea that Greater Purpose may be found in the things that challenge us.

    It was late winter/early spring in 1997. The apartment in which I was living had no furniture and a small TV with no cable. I would come home from the Chinese restaurant where I was working and watch the National and go to bed. (The longer story would fill a novel.)

    At that time, the Red River in Manitoba was flooding. People were losing their homes. It was terrible to witness. I remember thinking how unjust the world was, how unforgiving and cruel.

    One of the worst things a person can imagine is losing a home and all her belongings but as I watched this drama unfold on that little box I saw that this circumstance might not be the worst thing after all.

    The CBC was talking to the people who were affected by the disaster and do you know what they were saying?

    They were saying things like, “This flood has brought people together like never before.” Or, “It has shown us that we’re a community and that we can work together.” “There are neighbours helping each other that haven’t spoken in years.”

    The Great Mystery. We simply do not know. But how we perceive things is up to us. This is where we do have power. We have the power to see the positive in the negative. This is how we change the world.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When something “bad” happens I will use it as an opportunity to seek out the good. I will look for the silver lining.

    Believe in Something

    • November 25, 2009 9:45 am

    Dearest Readers,

    “I’ve decided that I’m going to do battle for my philosophy. You ought to believe something in life, believe that thing so fervently that you will stand up with it ’til the end of your days.”

    That’s Martin Luther King Jr. speaking about his faith.

    Yesterday I blogged about my own faith and later in the day as I reflected upon the post I wondered how many readers might be put off by this. Talking about a Higher Power is a deeply personal subject and not one that every person likes to explore or even hear about.

    But Dr. King’s words came to me this morning and they validated my efforts. How necessary it is to be true to oneself!

    Now Dr. King believed so passionately in his God and his God’s message of love and justice that he died for it. Am I willing to die for what I believe? Am I willing stand up for it until the end of my days?

    The idea terrifies me. It goes right to the heart of my fear. But I am willing to say, “yes”. If I have to, I will lay down my life for a truth that I believe in. Why? Because I would rather die than hide behind my fear. I am assured that there is great purpose in such action. Those who have done so have changed the world.

    This brings to mind the suicide-bombers. Aren’t they, too, doing as such? It could be argued that they are. But the message is hate and therefore unjustifiable and indefensible.

    I do fear alienating some readers with talk of faith and Higher Guidance. I do want everyone to like me. I am a people-pleaser. But I’m learning to let go of caring what others think of me. I’ve learned there is little satisfaction in seeking approval from others. It’s never enough and it brings me no peace.

    Peace comes for me when I walk through that fear of being judged and I say, “This is what I believe. And I believe it with all of my heart. And you do not have to believe what I believe. We can believe different things. I will respect your beliefs and I ask that you respect mine.”

    Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated for his beliefs. His death was a knife to the heart of hope. But not if we carry on for him, not if we live out his message of Love and Justice. Not if we take a stand, challenge the fear and believe in something deeply enough that we, too, are willing to die for it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to contemplate what it means to believe in something so deeply that I would die for it. I will continue to pray for the willingness to have that kind of courage.

    Woodpecker Faith

    • November 24, 2009 8:11 am

    Yesterday I saw a woodpecker. A woodpecker. In Whitehorse, Yukon. North of the 60th Parallel. In November. -14 C.

    It wasn’t so much the phenomenon of seeing such a bird in this climate so late in the year that put the gigantic smile on my face as it was the symbol of the bird itself.

    There are certain signs and symbols that I like to see as proof that the Life Force Energy of the Universe is working with me, guiding me and showing me Itself, and the woodpecker is one of them.

    It started with my seeing a woodpecker a number of years ago when I was living in a small town east of Toronto. I was walking home one day and came across a staggering amount of wood chips covering the sidewalk and the grass around it. I looked up to see this gigantic bird pecking the tree at a mile a minute causing the wood chips to fly in all directions.

    I started to laugh out loud. Have you ever seen a woodpecker doing its thing up close? They hammer their heads against solid wood at the speed of lightening and with incredible force. No wonder Woody the Woodpecker was created as an entertaining cartoon. This is one hilarious bird.

    In that moment, I was filled with a real happiness. My laughter lifted me upward, past the woodpecker in the tree, ever higher to a place of such knowing, such faith. The truest kind of peace overcame me and I felt a deep love for all things, a connectedness with all time, and a profound oneness with the Great Mystery.

    And because of this episode of spiritual awakening, for ever after, when I would see a woodpecker or hear one, I would be returned to this state of knowing, of being in the experience of a Higher Love.

    So yesterday, in this northern clime, temperatures well below freezing, blustery snow whipping drifts up the sides of buildings and streets, I see this creature that has come to symbolize this Power. I see it flying to a telephone pole and jamming its beak into the wood, looking for food.

    And the joy that I felt. I cannot rightly describe it. My smile was electrifying, you should have seen it. Because once again I was reminded that all things merge into Oneness and the Universe is a Living Energy that knows us.

    Don’t you just love a Power that works through woodpeckers? This Power of coincidence, of serendipity, of unity of time, place, thing, symbol, word. This Power is in us and we are of this Power.

    Hallelujah, brothers and sisters.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Look for the symbols that speak to you of a Higher Power working in your life. What are they? Observe when and how they return to you. Use them as proof of Higher Guidance and opportunities for gratitude and joy.

    Run for Your Life

    • November 23, 2009 9:48 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yoga is pretty much my only form of exercise. I don’t own a vehicle so I do a lot of walking and bike riding (when the weather is fair) but I don’t go to the gym and I’m not a jogger.

    Despite yoga’s immense benefits it does not really get my heart rate going fast enough or long enough to be considered a cardiovascular exercise and I have been told by various doctors that I ought to engage in some kind of work-out that gets my heart pumping.

    Whitehorse has super hiking trails and so I often go for mini-hikes and use the hills and cliffs as a way to get more “cardio”. And they tire me out. I recently ran straight up a cliff to catch a sunset and was so out of breath when I got to the top that I thought I might collapse.

    This came as a shock to me. I like to think I’m in great shape. I may be flexible enough to bend my body in half but my heart and lungs are sorely in need of some serious action.

    That episode up the cliffs reminded me of a movie I’d seen in grade school on physical fitness. (God, we loved it when we got to watch movies in the classroom! The sound of the projector in the dark, permission to rest head on desk, a break from the monotony of lessons…)

    This particular film was based on the true story of a man with a family and a good job who suffered from depression and wished to kill himself.

    The man gets the bright idea that he’s going to do the deed by giving himself a heart attack. He decides he will run himself to death. Not your typical route to suicide but there you have it.

    So we see the dramatization of the man waking up in the middle of the night and going outside to run. He runs and runs and runs until he collapses. But as he lies on the grass preparing to die his exhaustion goes away and he recovers.

    So he gets up and goes home vowing to do the same thing the next night. And the next night he runs again until he collapses. But again he doesn’t die. You can probably guess what happens.

    He repeats this “suicide attempt” every night until he finds he is able to run for longer and longer periods of time. He gets faster. He loses weight. And his depression disappears. He no longer wants to die.

    So when I climb a hill and reach the top and find myself so out of breath I think I might puke I tell myself, “If you do this more often, this will change.”

    And so I’ve made a commitment to go on one cardio-cliff-climbing excursion a week. It’s not a lot but it’s a start.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: The more we do something the easier it becomes. Something new may feel like a punishment but we are adaptable and the activity will eventually have its rewards.

    The Babe

    • November 21, 2009 8:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Every Christmas my mother gives me and my sisters something called the “Chicago Datebook.” It’s a handy little agenda whose beginning pages are filled with information about the city of Chicago, including maps of the transit systems, the suburbs and the downtown core; attractions, sport and entertainment guides and airport information.

    I have never used these tips. Even when I’ve gone to visit my parents in that fair city the Datebook has never been referred to when we’re making our plans.

    The rest of the agenda is the usual monthly and weekly breakdowns and I must admit I don’t use these either, at least not in the usual way. I already have a month-at-a-glance agenda that I’m quite attached to and every year for the last 10 years I have felt an odd excitement about starting a new one of these booklets.

    I do, however, use the Chicago Datebook in another way. I use it as a scratch pad, for taking notes at conferences, jotting down numbers for monthly finances, scheduling workshop details etc. For these things, it is a great assistant.

    But it means I am never working on the page of which date it happens to be. Sometimes I’ll be scribbling something and notice that I’m in July and it is actually October, which is fine, unless I happen to need the date for something and my own agenda is not handy so find myself having to flip through months of pages to figure it out.

    The Datebook, being all things that it is, also has an inspiring quote each week. Because I’m not using the book in its proper context I rarely look at the quote. This is a shame because I could be saving myself tons of time by simply passing it on to you folks each day without having to come up with my own!

    Last week I happened to glance at the top of the page (August in November) and see this little piece of advice from Babe Ruth:

    “Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”

    I remembered this quote yesterday when I received news from a funding body that I’d passed the first round of adjudication, or the “creative hurdle”, as they call it.

    The project for which I applied for this funding is one that I nearly gave up on. Two different funding proposals had already been rejected and I had begun to think that maybe this was a sign to let it go.

    But then I would get another message, intuitive or otherwise, to continue. So I would keep doing the footwork, doing my best to let go of expectations and simply follow the guidance I felt I was receiving.

    If I had let the fear striking out be my guide, I’d never be in the position I’m in now, which is to potentially receive money to pay myself, keep the project afloat and take it to the next level.

    So despite my fear of rejection, I stepped up to the plate one more time and hit the ball. It’s still in the air and it could be a homer.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Mother, if you’re reading this, I’ll take a 2010 Chicago Datebook for Christmas.

    In the Flow

    • November 20, 2009 10:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Does being “in the right place at the right time” only happen sometimes? Or are we always there, exactly where we are supposed to be, every single moment?

    I prefer to believe the latter. I like the idea that my life is unfolding according to a Higher Plan and that as it unfolds, the Life Force Energy of the Universe is adjusting, like the automatic pilot, to whatever direction I happen to take.

    When I allow this theory to work in my life I am in the Flow. When I get in the way, force my hand, make fear-based decisions, I’ve stepped out of the Flow and things go awry. But even then, I do not have to fear, because the Universe will still adjust, and give me another opportunity to step into alignment with its Wisdom, Grace or Guidance.

    Sometimes, however, the fact that I am in the right place at the right time is just so magnificently obvious that I am floored and deeply humbled by the Great Power That Makes it All Happen. (All of Those Words Deserve Capital Letters, Dontcha Think?)

    Example:

    I need to hire someone to record a group of musicians. I am given a name and I happen to know the man. I had already been thinking about working with him in some capacity!

    I don’t call him. I intuitively trust that he’s the person for the job but I hold off because someone mentions another name and I am now unsure.

    At a café, I run into the man who was initially suggested to me and, being used to working in tandem with the Universe, I see this as my opportunity to mention the job. He tells me his friend, a recording engineer, is in town and that the two of them can help.

    We set up a meeting but my friend can’t be there. I meet the new man alone. He is leaving the day after we plan to record. He has all the equipment we need with him. He has the expertise and the desire to do the job.

    In other words, he’s a frickin’ angel.

    So I’m sitting there speaking with this angel and thinking, “I did not do this. I didn’t have to DO anything to make this happen!”

    I simply had to show up in my life, trust my intuition, and take action when the opportunity presented itself to me.

    Whenever I have a big project that could easily overwhelm me or send me into fear-mode my mantra is this:

    This project is not mine. I am the Assistant. The Great Director is running the show.

    And my prayer is this:

    Show me what to do.

    And then I suit up and show up for the adventure of my life, allowing it to unfold, trusting Guidance, and letting go of my need to control things myself.

    I do not do this perfectly. I do it to the best of my ability, which changes from day to day.

    To keep the process in flux, I remember to give thanks for all the gifts that are my life and for the opportunity to be of service.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If you don’t like your job, become an Assistant to the Universe. It’s the best gig you’ll ever get.

    Rest in the Moment

    • November 19, 2009 9:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    I was saying to a friend the other day that the time between my birthday in September to Christmas in December always goes by at lightening speed. It feels like the fastest time of the year.

    This is silly. Time doesn’t move any faster during certain months any more than it moves slower during others. It just seems this way. What makes it seem this way I do not know.

    What I do know is that I’m buying into it and it’s making me a little crazy. I feel the days zooming by and my head is often in Christmas, and then January and then February…

    It is a constant practice to bring myself back into my body and into my life as it is happening right now. When I am on track spiritually I’m good about remembering to do this myself. When I am not, it usually takes something happening like a slip-and-fall accident or biting my tongue when I’m eating to bring me back.

    Since I like to avoid those two-by-four-over-the-head moments as much as possible I do my best to nurture my spiritual condition each day so I can stay here.

    Some of you may know that I’m working on a project for the Olympics. There is a “countdown” happening, you may have seen/heard it, and it is especially prevalent in Vancouver. When I was there recently I kept seeing electronic signs and little headlines in newspapers saying, “So-and-so number of days left!”

    Someone said they’d now reached the 100 day mark and then what felt like 2 days later I heard on the radio “88 more days.” I don’t know which is right and I’m not going to find out. I do not want to know, thank you very much! I’m working on one day at a time here, if you don’t mind!

    What is this obsession we have with living in the future?

    I have a theory. If we are present in our lives we have to feel our feelings. We have to connect to the truth of our reality, which is that we are going to die one day. So the temptation is to get out of the present and go somewhere else: tomorrow, the weekend, Christmas, the first day of the Olympics, next summer. Just not here.

    A stretch? I don’t think so. I know that if I rest in the moment, be here now, I have to feel my fear. And I’d rather not do that so away I go. But if I come back, if I breathe into my heart, if I let go of all time but the present, I am living.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My goal today is to practice returning to the here and now. This is where my life is! I can rest here knowing that the days ahead will come. Until then, I’m going to celebrate the now.