• Healing Hands

    • January 8, 2010 8:37 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As some of you may know, I’m presently working on a big project for the 2010 Olympics and this morning I put one of our guest artists on a plane home and this afternoon I’ll pick another one up. In between these runs to the airport I have two meetings and what feels like 4,234 emails to read/answer.

    Oh yeah, and I’m going for a massage.

    Admittedly, I’m wondering if this is the best idea. Do I really have the time? I could be attacking my “to-do” list! I could be making calls and sending messages! I could be… lying on a table with someone’s hands rubbing my naked body.

    No-brainer? You’d think so. But a surprisingly tough choice for the recovering workaholic.

    It’s taken me a long time to learn how to put self-care at the top of my list. But I need a break, I need some healing touch and you know what? I deserve these things. We all do.

    So despite the fact that time is precious right now and there are many details to be taken care of, at 12:45 I am going to get my physical, emotional and spiritual needs taken care of. Massage table, here I come.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Even in the busiest of times there is time to take care of ourselves. No matter how much I have on my plate I can still devote time to self-care. I’m worth it!

    Another Day in Paradise

    • January 7, 2010 8:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The dictionary on this computer defines the word synchronicity this way:

    “The simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.”

    The parts of this explanation that tickle me are appear and discernible. They are words that suggest ambiguity. In other words, we think that a simultaneous occurrence of events is probably meaningless but we don’t really know for sure.

    For me, synchronicity is the proof I need that there is Higher Guidance at work. Take this example:

    I am working in a studio with 3 other people. We are listening to a song. I hear a particular lyric and mention that it reminds me of an ’80s song. Some others agree. I say that I like the ’80s song it triggers memories of some of significant events in my life.

    We leave the studio. We decide to go and eat. We deliberate on where to go. Finally we decide. We arrive at the restaurant. We sit down and open our menus. Can you guess which song is playing on the sound system? You better believe it: the 80’s fave.

    Just think for a minute of all the things that had to happen for us to get to that particular restaurant at that very moment to hear that song. Appear significantly related? No discernible connection? I think not.

    How about miraculous timing that can only be orchestrated by a Power beyond my intellectual understanding? A Power Greater than Dictionaries and Our Ability to Interpret Stuff. I think so.

    These moments remind me that there is Something Else at work and that I am a part of it. This Something knows me and, in fact, will remind me of its Presence through something as seemingly insignificant as a Phil Collins song.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: The Universe is constantly working to help us on our journey. When we experience the phenomenon of synchronicity or coincidence we can begin to trust that we are in the Flow, being guided by the Higher Plan of Existence.

    The Second Agreement

    • January 6, 2010 7:50 am

    Dearest Readers,

    I’ve been thinking a lot about rejection lately because I’m in this position of having to choose people to work on a creative project of which I am Artistic Director. It continues to be a challenge for me because of my own issues in this area.

    Yesterday I blogged about deciding not to become a dancer because I believed I couldn’t “make it”. But I still went into a creative field that has brought me no shortage of rejection. It’s not like I took the safe route and became an accountant.

    There are many tools to employ when we’ve been rejected and believe me I use them all. “It wasn’t meant to be” works really well. “There’s something better in store” is another good one.

    A few years ago I was introduced to The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, one of which is “Don’t take anything personally.” To use an expression by my friend and great storyteller Jim Green, “It’s a gooder!”

    Here it is, pulled from Ruiz’s website:

    2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

    Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

    For me, this is an excellent tool to employ when we feel as though we’ve been wronged, slighted, injured or hurt. Mind you, we are human, and we need to feel our feelings first. Once we have felt the feeling and identified it, however, it behooves us to practice the above creed. In my experience, it will save us from a lot of grief.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If I am rejected, I will first let myself feel hurt and then I will identify and name my feelings in order to give them expression. From there I can become willing to practice not taking the rejection personally. I deserve this kind of self-care!

    What a Feeling

    • January 5, 2010 9:21 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I got to sit in on auditions for a youth dance piece that is a part of an upcoming project I’m working on. About 20 kids showed up and gave it everything they had. It was a fantastic thing to watch.

    I’ve written before about my dream of being a dancer. When I was a kid that was wanted I wanted to be when I grew up. I was obsessed with the movies Fame and Flashdance and I would spend hours practicing dance routines.

    Somewhere along the way I developed the dis-ease of perfectionism, which told me, “If you can’t be the best, don’t play the game.” I wasn’t the best. I gave up dancing and I gave up the dream.

    When I watched those kids yesterday, picking up really challenging choreography taught to them by a pro from NYC with big credits behind her, following her moves, one after the other, listening and learning from body memory, focusing 100%, I knew why I’d become a writer.

    Granted, I am a performer. I do play on the stage and screen but I am convinced I made the right decision because I simply cannot pick up choreography. At least not that darn fast.

    A few years back I took a jazz class and I was the best in the class because I was 20 years younger than everyone else. It was a class for older ladies. I was able to pick up the choreography because the teacher had to go over it 462 times.

    It was super impressive to see these talented youth pick up each sequence after seeing it only one or two times. I’m sure for a dancer this is a no-brainer but for me it’s a feat of incredible proportions.

    Not every one of those kids is going to make the cut. At one point I saw a girl crying because she wanted it so badly and she was trying so hard and the pressure was so high. Her emotional state was as fragile as could be and she was biting her lip to fight the tears back. That’s the kind of pressure I backed away from. The possibility for rejection was too great.

    Since I am heading the project I gave a little speech before and after. I asked everyone to be his/herself. I encouraged them all not to take it personally if they didn’t get a call back. I said, “Have fun!” It was my greatest desire for each of them to have a great time and to let go of the outcome as best they could.

    Letting go of the outcome. It’s one of the most challenging things to do. It is something I have to continually practice, every day. As I heard myself saying it yesterday I thought, “These words are as much for me as they are for all of you.”

    I don’t regret not pursuing my dream of being a dancer and I’m grateful to be recovering from the merciless taskmastering of perfectionism. I got to see my dream alive in the faces of those kids yesterday. And I pray each one of them follows their own.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If I can’t be the best I will still play the game. I will put myself out there and give it all I’ve got, surrendering the outcome and enjoying the process to the best of my ability.

    100% Human

    • January 4, 2010 9:01 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Continuing on the theme of “I’m shocked to discover I’m human” I’d like to share with you my latest episode of being humbled by my humanness.

    A couple of days ago I was tasked with a huge job of coordinating a video shoot, which involved several tricky elements. The shoot took place outdoors and the weather was clear and calm but the temperature was in the -20 range so it was c-c-cold.

    The first few shots went fairly smoothly with a few hurdles that we managed to jump over. The next shot involved moving to another location. I was taken to the spot and left there. No one followed me. My walkie-talkie was not working in the cold so I couldn’t reach anyone. I could see everyone about a mile away but they were not coming to me. I’d been completely abandoned.

    As I walked back toward the crew trying to figure out why no one was coming to get me, I was consumed by rage. We’d lost time, the schedule had been buggered, our carefully laid plans were ruined (or so I thought) and I lost it. Completely. I was so angry I cannot even tell you.

    So there I was, in the middle of a vast frozen wilderness, yelling at the top of my lungs. I’m cursing and praying and begging all at the same time. It was quite the display.

    By the time I arrived back at the first location I was calm(er). I asked what was happening and the SNAFU was explained. I expressed my frustration and re-jigged the next steps. I laughed it off and we moved on.

    Later that evening as I reviewed the day I felt ashamed that I’d reacted in so childish a manner. Where was my faith that everything unfolds as it should? Where was my trust in the Higher Plan? Why couldn’t I see that all would be well no matter what? (Because it was. We made our day on time.)

    So that was my first reaction. The reaction of the perfectionist. She looks at everything I didn’t do.

    The good news: I’ve done enough healing work to have compassion kick in pretty quickly. I remembered that I’m human (shocking) and that I did my best. So I lost my sh&%. It’s okay. What did I do well?

    I went over all the things that went right, all the things that were successful about the day. I realized that my conniption fit had taken place in isolation; I hadn’t screamed at anyone, I hadn’t lost my temper in front of the crew or taken anybody out and I was even able to laugh about it in the immediate aftermath.

    The depth of the anger was surprising and I saw that the pressure of the job had been building up to such an extent that it needed to be released somehow. And release it I did! Holy moly, try yelling and screaming your heart out in the Great Wilderness. It’s a tension tamer no doubt about it.

    Next, I looked at what I could take from this experience. I asked myself what I had learned. How could I apply it to future situations? This is the gift of any situation gone awry. Finding the lesson and being willing to apply it down the road.

    The key for me here is to let go of that shame. To allow myself to be less-than-perfect. It’s an ongoing journey and I’m committed to it 100%.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I behave in a less-than-spectacular manner I do not have to be ashamed. I can have mercy on myself, see the good, and let it go.

    I Got a Horse Right Here…

    • January 2, 2010 9:30 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Despite the fact that I am a yoga teacher and practitioner, I still have tension and aches and pains in my body. It’s been humbling to admit this truth and challenging to accept it. Once again, I’m shocked to discover I’m human.

    I work with the physical issues to the best of my ability through all kinds of healing practices and as my spiritual well-being has improved so has the tension eased and the pain lifted.

    A few years ago I went to a “Light-Touch” healer. I didn’t really know what I was in for but the woman practitioner had been recommended to me by a friend. I was expecting a massage that would ease the tension in my shoulder. What I got was a emotional cleansing and a horse.

    As I lay on the woman’s table, fully-clothed, she moved her hands over my body without touching me. I couldn’t see what she was doing but I could feel her hands moving just above the surface of my clothing. I began to cry.

    She would speak to me as she worked, reassuring me and saying the most loving, encouraging things. I continued to weep.

    At one point she gasped and said, “Ohhhhh,” as if she’d just seen the most adorable doggie in the window and then she said, “You have a horse.”

    “I have a horse?”

    She went on to explain that I have a Spirit Horse with me at all times. It is my constant companion and looks after me, runs with me, walks with me, never leaves my side. I was skeptical but I also had snot running down my face so I went with it.

    When I arrived home later that day, one of my sisters who happened to be visiting asked me how it went and I told her about the horse. She sort of laughed and made a comment akin to, “Yeah, right.” But for a time after that appointment I was keenly aware of the idea that I had a Spirit Horse. It made me feel good. Safe. Loved.

    Many days, months and years have passed since that appointment and I have only thought of the Horse Spirit once or twice, if that.

    Yesterday, I was out in a cabin in the bush having a planning-meeting for a big video shoot I’m coordinating today. The shoot is a big job and I’ve been praying like a mother-lover for help, courage, fearlessness etc.

    The meeting itself was a little stressful and I was doing my best to stay calm, follow my intuition and show leadership. At one point I looked out the window and saw a big, caramel-coloured horse in the yard. In my state, (call it “busy-mind”) this beautiful vision barely registered.

    We got through the meeting and it ended up turning out very well. As we drove along the backcountry road we rounded a corner and bang! There in front of us was a whole herd of horses, their winter coats thick and shaggy and covered with frozen sweat. They were completely blocking the road.

    We had to stop the car and I finally came out of my head-spinning state to see what was in front of me. I took in these gorgeous creatures one by one, returning to the present moment, landing back in my body, back in my life.

    Last night as I reviewed the day before sleep I remembered the herd of horses and thanked the Creator for sending them. Then I remembered the single horse in the yard, which I’d pretty much ignored. I suddenly knew. It was my Spirit Horse.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When we ask for help we receive it. It comes in many different ways. If we keep our eyes and our ears open we will be amazed by the attention that is paid to our individual lives by the Omniscient One.

    To This Day

    • January 1, 2010 11:06 am

    Happy New Year, Dearest Readers.

    Today’s Inspiring Message of the Day is a Sanskrit proverb by Kalidasa, an Indian poet and playwright who lived in Fourth century A.D. May it become a tool that you use in your life in the year ahead.

    Look to this day,
    For it is life.
    The very life of life.
    In its brief course lie all
    The realities and verities of existence,
    The bliss of growth,
    The splendour of action,
    The glory of power —

    For yesterday is but a dream,
    And tomorrow is only a vision,
    But today, well lived,
    Makes every yesterday a dream
    of happiness
    And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

    Look well, therefore, to this day.

    Vision: Fearlessness

    • December 31, 2009 10:06 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today is the very last day of 2009. Hard to believe we’ve just come to the end of the first decade of the 2000s, isn’t it? Ten whole years since the big Y2K scare. Blink and a decade has gone by.

    This is a time to reflect not only on the year gone by but perhaps on the last ten years as well. What are my accomplishments? My wins and victories? What have I changed? What haven’t I changed? Where would I like to change?

    As I look to the New Year, I envision a continuation of my journey on the healing path, cultivating the courage to do the things I think I cannot do, walking through my fear, and inspiring others to do the same.

    My deepest vision is to live entirely without fear. To be completely fearless. Sounds like a plan, no?

    The other day I was in a store that sells outdoor gear and like almost everywhere you go now there was a television on display. The film that was playing showed images of a skier bombing down the steepest mountain side you can possibly imagine, flying off cliffs hundreds of feet high and landing in deep powder, continuing on to the next edge of nothingness, jumping off without hesitation etc.

    Another clip showed a man running up to the edge of a mountain and hurling himself off it, flipping into the air and falling at breakneck speed, parallel to a sheer rock face until, very near to the ground, he pulled a chute and floated the rest of the way down.

    My heart was in my throat.

    Now, who knows what kinds of lives these guys have outside of their extreme sporting habits but to be that fearless in those situations, to see the edge of the cliff with nothing beyond it but certain death and to throw oneself off of it without a second thought, well, I’m impressed by that. Whether it’s stupid or not, I don’t know. I just know I’m in awe of that level of fearlessness. Because I’d be terrified.

    I can’t see myself throwing myself off a cliff anytime soon (though I’ve always dreamt of free-falling from an airplane — I have jumped out of a plane but the chute released automatically upon jumping — that’s another story) but I plan to use those images of cliff-jumpers to inspire fearlessness in everyday situations.

    Can I commit to throwing myself off the cliff of life each day? Am I willing to jump into the unknown with complete abandon? Can I practice letting go absolutely in any given situation?

    Yes, yes, and yes.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will look back on the past year and the past decade and look at what I have accomplished and what I would like to accomplish in the days to come. I will create a vision for my life and work toward it to the best of my ability, one day at a time.

    Tree Hugs Back

    • December 30, 2009 8:11 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The term “tree hugger” is a put-down, most often meant to slam environmentalists. But have you ever actually hugged a tree? There’s nothing shameful about it.

    Last night as I was checking on an out-of-town friend’s house I noticed a grove of trees in the backyard. It’s not like I’ve never noticed these particular trees before but for some reason they drew my attention as I locked the door after giving the place a once-over.

    The Yukon’s most common trees are evergreens – spruce, pine & fir – but we’ve got loads of birch, poplar, willow, cotton wood and aspen trees, too. When you fly here, what you see out the window are mountains and trees. And trees. And more trees.

    The trees in my friend’s yard, the ones that called to me last evening, are aspen and they are massive, perhaps 100 feet tall. There are five or six of them and they’re clustered together in a group. They’ve always looked to me like a gang of best friends, standing close and sticking together come what may.

    In summer they are magnificent, shining white trunks and full heads of bright green leaves. In winter, well, since the backyard is not a big gathering place in the cold and dark months I’d never even looked at them in winter.

    But last night, something drew me to them and I noticed for the first time that one of the trees stands alone from the others. It is the biggest tree of them all, its body just that much thicker than its nearby mates. This big baby was dying for a hug, I could tell.

    Crunching through the snow I made my way over to greet the tree, it’s tight bark covered in a frosty glaze. I wrapped my arms around it and held it close. The trunk was the perfect size for hugging, not to skinny, not too wide. It’s body was firm, straight and strong, and yet it yielded to my touch.

    I could actually feel the power of the tree’s energy. Talk about a force of nature! That Force was like, pulsing into my body. I walked away feeling like I’d just downed a shot of Pure Love.

    So I am a tree hugger in the most literal sense of the word. Unashamed and the better for it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Hug a tree. There’s great power there. Besides that, they like it.

    Running Up That Hill

    • December 28, 2009 9:05 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Listening to other people talk about their dreams can be fascinating but it’s usually not. Our dreams are meaningful to us as individuals, not to others.

    Unless it’s a universal dream that most of us can relate to (like being naked in public or losing teeth) then you can probably count on your listener tuning out when you’re in the midst of describing how you were in your childhood home but it looked like your friend’s house etc.

    That said, I’m going to share a piece of a dream with you because I feel the larger message is worth passing on.

    I am running up a hill and it’s getting steeper and steeper. It becomes so steep that I fear I might actually fall backward. I discover a wall jutting out and I lean against it for safety.

    The top of the hill is just a few feet away but it’s straight up. I notice little grooves in the ground, footholds, opposite the wall. I reach out my foot, press into the foothold. It’s too high, the stretch is beyond my capability. I choose another foothold lower down, press my other foot against the wall behind me and push and pull myself up to the top.

    Upon waking, I was struck by the obviousness of the dream’s meaning: Sometimes life can feel like an uphill climb. The steeper it gets or the more challenges we face, the harder it is to keep going. Falling seems inevitable.

    But there are walls and grooves and footholds all around us. We may be tempted to push ourselves higher and harder because we want to “get there” faster but we can choose the easier step. It’s okay to be where we are.

    In order to use life’s footholds, we need to see them first. How do we see them? We need to trust that they are there. If we can do that, they will appear to us where we did not see them before.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will trust that there are support systems in place to help me climb my hill. I will keep my eyes open and allow them to be revealed to me. Then I will use them to pull myself up!