• Acceptance Brings Peace

    • February 25, 2010 4:20 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    There is a fire warming my legs, a blue sky outside the nearby window, a sparkling lake in the distance and a dis-ease called cancer that is ripping apart the life of my friend Leanne.

    The unbearable incongruousness of life! How can we live with it?

    Recently I heard someone talking about the frustration we humans feel when we are faced with questions that we cannot answer. In our arrogance and in our fear, we demand the answers. “Why, God? Why?”

    So often, here on this earthly plane, we cannot know the answer.

    Sometimes all we can do is practice acceptance. It might not satisfy the need to understand but it can bring peace nonetheless. We can practice letting go of the “why” and instead look for the “way”.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice letting go of my need to make sense of things that don’t make sense. From this, I will trust that peace will come.

    Wish You Were Here

    • February 24, 2010 10:28 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As one chapter of my work life comes to an end and another begins I am happy to report that I am taking a few days to rest and restore my energy.

    There was a time in my life when I would have scheduled something, anything, on the day immediately following the end of a project. I would launch myself into more work lest I miss an income-generating or career-enhancing opportunity.

    This way of operating clearly wasn’t working for me. Burn-out was something I knew well. My coach introduced me to the term “re-entry”, which is the state of being that comes with endings and beginnings, especially when travel is involved.

    It took me a while to learn how to give myself the re-entry time required to adjust to normal life but eventually I got it. With the conclusion of the Big O Project I’m taking it one step further. Before I head home and into re-entry mode, I’m going on spiritual vacation.

    For three days I will be on a personal retreat in a beautiful location, taking part in activities like Qi Gong, labyrinth-walking, and guided meditation. I will receive Spiritual Direction and healing treatment sessions and my time will be devoted to letting go, discerning new direction, and seeking quiet.

    The fact that I am now able to give myself this gift is a testament to the healing work I’ve done over the last number of years. One, I didn’t ever believe I deserved a spiritual vacation, and two, I didn’t think I could afford it, either financially or time-wise.

    Today, I know that not only do I deserve and can I afford this gift but it is absolutely necessary for my overall sense of well-being.

    What a change! From financially-insecure-overachieving-workaholic to prosperous and relaxed vacation-taking mama. Let the re-entry begin.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Do I need a spiritual vacation? Do I believe that I deserve something like this? I will explore the idea of taking time to rejuvenate my spirit and restore my emotional energy.

    The Land of Serendip

    • February 23, 2010 10:14 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Because of something that happened to me yesterday I just looked up the word “serendipity” in this computer’s dictionary.

    Here is what it said:

    “The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

    ORIGIN 1754: coined by Horace Walpole, suggested by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a fairy tale in which the heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

    As I was walking along the street yesterday afternoon I saw a woman I know from Whitehorse. She now lives in Vancouver and there she was, riding her bicycle past me on the street. I opened my mouth to call her name and, to my surprise, it actually came out. (Sometimes, in these situations, it doesn’t.)

    She stopped, recognized me immediately and got off her bike to say hello. We hugged and when I asked her how she was doing she responded truthfully and said she was struggling. We walked together for a while and she shared with me some of her difficulties.

    I related to what she was talking about; I had been through similar challenges myself. I was able to share my experience, strength and hope with her and she left with the name of a book I recommended and a smile on her face. I felt as though I had been useful and helpful to a friend in need.

    Neither of us were on a quest for such a happy and beneficial meeting but nonetheless it occurred for our mutual benefit. Is this “chance”, as the above definition describes? Or it is Higher Guidance, giving us just what we need precisely when we need it?

    I think you know what my answer would be.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to stay open to the happy and beneficial discoveries provided me by serendipitous encounters. I will trust that this is Higher Guidance, giving me just what I need.

    Checks and Balances

    • February 22, 2010 9:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s now two days after the biggest performance of my career so far and I’m happy to report that I’m NOT now experiencing the biggest crash of my career, too.

    There was a time in my life when I would push myself to make the climb, peak, and then crash and burn, needing days or weeks to recover physically, emotionally and spiritually. At some point, I realized this wasn’t working for me. There had to be another way.

    Balance, anyone?

    Balance can be tough to achieve. I once had a yoga teacher who said if you’re falling over in Vrkasana (AKA Tree Pose, which involves standing on one leg at a time) then your life’s balance is out of whack. I wasn’t too crazy about hearing this little bit of truth because I was unsteady in the pose.

    Today I can stand completely still in Vrkasana but it took a series of painful lessons to get here.

    Through regularly occurring breakdowns after pushing myself too hard, I was forced to learn how to balance my time and my energy. Those of you who are regular readers know that I’ve shifted my perception a number of times in order to reduce the scale of the Big O Project in my mind. But by making it “just a job” I’ve been able to stay grounded.

    Yesterday, I took a day of rest and today I will get some work done but take it easy, too. I’m not lying on the couch, sick as a dog, feeling depressed and mournful, recovering from an immeasurable high. I did a gig, it was big, and life is continuing on.

    That said, it’s important to celebrate the highs, too. And O.M.F’N.G., you guys, it was awesome.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to strive for balance in my life today. I will not push so hard that a crash is inevitable and I will not retreat so far that coming back is painful. Mindful, forward movement is the best practice.

    I’m Gonna Let It Shine

    • February 20, 2010 5:04 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    I am in a dressing room backstage at BC Place Stadium listening to the muffled sounds of the Stereophonics rehearsing their set on the main stage. When I was standing on the giant deck, staring up at a screen the size of an apartment building, surrounded by technicians and performers and Olympic logos, there was only one question on my mind.

    How did I get here?

    The simple answer: I walked through my fear.

    Emotions are running high. There have been a few tears shed because a gig like this is a lot for the nervous system to endure. But there is no doubt that we are all excited, grateful and more than a little stoked.

    Yes, I walked through my fear to get here but I also had a lot of help, both from people and from On High. I believe there is a purpose to our lives and that we must devote our energy to its discovery. Mine is to shine the light I’ve been given in the most exquisite and truthful way.

    What’s yours?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will discover my Life’s Purpose and I will commit to its fulfilment, one day at a time, to the very best of my ability.

    The Glass is Half Full

    • February 19, 2010 10:02 am

    Dearest Readers,

    (Before today’s post, a word (or two) about leaving comments. A friend emailed me to say she tried to leave a comment and couldn’t. I don’t know if any of you have tried to do the same and been blocked but, if so, here’s why:

    My mother received a comment on her blog, the characters of which were actually multiple links to Asian porn sites. Soon after, I received the same comment. I then chose the setting that only allows members or followers to leave comments. If you’d like to leave a comment, please become a follower or create a Google account. Thanks!)

    There are lots of people out there who are against the Olympics. What I would like those people to see is the unity this event is creating among people. It’s everywhere!

    Strangers are connecting in myriad ways all across these city streets. Conversations, shout-outs, mass cheering, you name it. There is a kind of solidarity at work that is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It’s like Facebook, only live.

    As I was getting off the bus with one of the gals on the Big O Project last evening, a woman saw our official jackets and said, “You’re from the Yukon?” We said we were. Another guy piped up and said, “I used to live in the Yukon!” and began to describe to us his old life in the North.

    The woman who first spoke alighted with us and we chatted with her as she walked us to our destination. In exchange for her kindness and curiosity, I gave her an official Yukon pin, AKA gold (for some) in this pin-crazy environment.

    I’m sure the protesters and the naysayers all have very good reason to be fighting what they perceive to be a beast that must be slain. But all I’m seeing is the Love.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I can choose whether to focus on the negative or the positive. Today I will embrace the positive. It is there for us to discover!

    Buying Groceries: Lessons in Compassion

    • February 18, 2010 8:06 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Conversation overheard in an organic food store on Commercial Drive, Vancouver:

    Cashier: Yeah, I hate that guy.

    Customer: Hate’s a pretty strong word.

    Cashier: Come on, everybody hates somebody.

    Customer: I’d rather just be happy.

    Cashier: Yeah, happy people are cool. I like happy people. But not all happy people. Happy people are so “on” all the time. Are you pro or anti-Olympics?

    Customer: Oh, anti. I’m pro-people.

    Cashier: Yeah, people are cool. Not all people. Most people. Some.

    Customer: …

    Cashier: Well, you have a wonderful day!

    Customer: You, too.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will heal the hole in my heart that tells me it’s okay to hate. I will ask for freedom from the temptation to judge. I will have compassion for those who are not there yet.

    It’s a Hit

    • February 17, 2010 3:02 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This post is being written in the wee hours of the morning pre-flight to Vancouver and post-show at the Yukon Arts Centre. That’s right, tonight we premiered the Big O Project for the locals and tomorrow we take it to the Olympics to represent.

    This show has been a big part of my life for the last 6 months. My vision for the piece has, from day one, been to inspire the punters (a word the Irish use when referring to the audience — I picked it up while living there and still love to say it).

    Tonight the vision became a reality. The punters went wild!

    Six months ago I almost said no to this job. I didn’t want to create a stadium show. I couldn’t see how it could be in the slightest bit artistic. When I told this to a friend she said, “Well, that’s fine, Celia. As long as it’s not fear.”

    Boy, did she nail it. It was fear.

    And I walked through it. And here I am on the other side of it. Having created, with more help than I can adequately describe here, an artistic stadium show.

    I’ll be posting from Vancouver.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When we let fear hold us back we rob ourselves of life’s most profound experiences. I will say “yes” to something today that I’m afraid of.

    Tech it Out

    • February 16, 2010 9:01 am

    Dearest Readers,

    For those of you that are involved in any kind of show biz career you know that what we, in the industry, call “tech days” are some of the more challenging times in the process of creating a live production.

    For the Big O Project, we’ve got two tech days and 2 shows on the night of the second one. Yesterday was our first.

    Save for a couple of SNAFUs, the day went by smoothly and we finished early. One of the glitches we experienced actually bothered me quite a bit and, at one point, I was rather vocal in my vexation.

    The situation was resolved at the end of the day and I got an apology for the mistake, which was great.

    Upon retiring I reflected back on the day to the moment where I had voiced my distress. Albeit to comic effect, my punishing words were something to the effect of, “Please don’t remind of this again because I’m going to poke a f&$%#ing stick in my eye if it gets mentioned one more time.”

    The perfectionist in me says, “Celia, do it better next time.” The recovering perfectionist in me says, “You’re allowed to react to stressful situations and you’re a funny gal, in an acerbic kind of way.”

    I like the recovering perfectionist better. She gets my jokes.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Though I am committed to practicing “Restraint of Tongue” I will give myself permission to vocalize my frustration, when necessary!

    Doctors Do It

    • February 15, 2010 7:28 am

    Dearest Readers,

    After five months of build-up we have arrived at the week of production/performance for the Big O Project and what I’m feeling can be pretty much summed up by the following two words:

    Holy s&$%!

    When it comes to the intensity of pre-performance time and, let’s face it, the experience of the actual performance, I must use all the tools in the tool kit. Here are just a few: surrender, acceptance, fearlessness, humility, patience, prayer, meditation, relaxation, faith and trust.

    The other day, I blogged about the documentary 65_RedRoses and there is one scene in that film that keeps coming back to me.

    In it, the doctor who is about to perform the double lung transplant on Eva, the young woman in the film with cystic fibrosis, is alone in a locker room preparing for the surgery. He is nervous and he is pumped, pacing back and forth, shaking his arms, releasing the tension. Then he does something I never expected to see a doctor do. He gets down on his knees and prays.

    Not only was it surprising to see a doctor, a scientist of medicine, pray in such a way, it was astonishing to be allowed into such an intimate moment in a person’s life. Fantastic!

    Here he was, an intelligent and skilled man (whom we later learn is one of a number of doctors who performed a record number of transplants over the course of those 24 hours), asking for help (strength, guidance, courage, steady-hands?) from Something Other Than Himself.

    If there were to be a camera following me around this week you can bet it would catch me down on my knees, brothers and sisters, seeking that healing balm of Higher Guidance.

    Holy s$%#!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My strength and courage come from a Power Greater Than Myself. I will continue to ask this Power to guide and carry me through the operation of my life.