• Seven…

    • September 14, 2010 8:55 am

    Dearest Readers,

    In 2000 I did a month-long stint with Calgary’s One Yellow Rabbit Performance Theatre. Each summer they facilitate a Summer Lab and I was lucky enough to get a “scholarship” to go and participate. It had a profound impact on my career as a performer.

    At the start, all the “Labbits”, as we came to be called, introduced ourselves by sharing something peculiar or particular about our lives. One gal named Anne Loree revealed that she was the songwriter behind Jann Arden‘s major hit “Insensitive.” We all oohed and aahed because it was pretty cool to be in the presence of a bonafide hit-maker (number 12 on the US Billboard Hot 100). At the end of the Lab Anne played the song for us in performance. It was a real thrill.

    This morning I’m singing that song. “Maybe you might have some advice to give/on how to be/insensitive.” I’m not singing it about someone else, folks. I’m singing it about me.

    A friend of mine just told me that a few weeks back I sent her an email that contained a comment that really upset her. She couldn’t believe I had written it. It was in shockingly bad taste. She’s been hurting since then and only yesterday did she finally feel ready to confront me about it.

    God. Really? Ugh. So humbling. So challenging to hear this from a dear friend. It’s not the first time, either. Blasted email! How I wish I could blame it on this ridiculous form of communication that causes so many problems, so many misunderstandings and misinterpretations. But no. I cannot shirk this. I must take responsibility for my actions.

    After listening to my friend and apologizing and having a good cry with her about the situation we were able to laugh together and move on. (Now that’s communication.) But I went home still feeling the discomfort of what had transpired. My friend and I had already established that I had not been on top of my game when I sent the email (no kidding) but what else?

    That’s when the word insensitive came to me. Sort of like a beacon in the night. Kind of written across the sky. I can be insensitive. Not a beautiful moment. Not the type of epiphany I really enjoy having. Like a woolly sweater that itches in all the wrong spots. Get it off me.

    Alas, I must wear it before I can take it off. I gotta own it before it can be taken away. So I’m owing it. I’m not saying, “I am an insensitive person.” This is too harsh. “I can be insensitive,” is a gentler admission. It also means I have the quality rather than I am the quality.

    The Inner Work before me now is vital. Now that I have the awareness I need to be willing to change and be changed. I asked my friend how I could make amends to her. (An apology is great but it doesn’t always repair the damage.) She made a suggestion. I’m going to take it. I’m also committing to refraining from sending emails with flippant comments. This means re-reading what I’ve written and saving the message in the drafts folder if I’m unsure.

    Lastly, I can use prayer to heal the underlying fear or wound. What’s insensitivity but self-centredness? What is self-centredness but fear? What is fear but a disconnection from Love? Return me to Love. Heal me. Make me whole.

    With all of these steps I’m hoping instead I might have some advice to give on how to be more sensitive.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We’re not perfect. We make mistakes. Rather than beating myself up and increasing the shame I will commit to Healing Action. I will make things right where I can and leave the rest to a Loving Higher Power.

    Eight…

    • September 13, 2010 9:51 am

    Dearest Readers,

    “By living regularly in the spiritual consciousness–making it your habitation–no trouble can touch you.”

    This comes from the book Power Through Constructive Thinking by Emmet Fox. I read that passage this morning during the time I take to practice prayer and meditation. Part of me balked. “But I do that and still I get burned!”

    This resistance is also known as the dis-ease. The rebel. The pessimist. The faithless. She’s real and she has a voice but guess what? She’s not the boss of me.

    “No trouble can touch you” does not mean nothing “bad” is ever going to happen. It means with a positive mental attitude we can be free no matter what the situation. We can be free with second-degree burns, with illness, with physical disability. We can be free in prison, in concentration camps, in the darkest of places. We can be free if we make Spiritual Consciousness our mental home.

    My thigh is now marked by a giant red scar. It may go away. It may not. The skin is very smooth. It’s new. It regenerated itself after trauma. The pain of that experience was excruciating and yet I have managed to overcome it by changing my attitude. It wasn’t a punishment. I didn’t attract it because I’m not living rightly. I was presented with an opportunity to practice compassion (for myself and others) and non-judgment (of myself and others). I was presented with an opportunity to turn it around, to ask instead, “Where is the Gift?”

    We can always find the Gift through the power of constructive thinking. I was able to move beyond self-pity. I was able to triumph over physical difficulty. I gained humility. I gained a deeper sense of be-ing. My ability to practice of mindfulness opened up wider than it ever has before.

    As a result of all of these things I can look back and see that despite the grief of the whole burn experience I managed to become mentally free. By dwelling in the Spiritual Solution no trouble really touched me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Everyday the dis-ease of fear comes knocking. “I want the power!” it shouts. “I wanna drive the bus!” Everyday we may seek refuge in the Spirit to send it packing. Today I will dwell in the Spirit and be free.

    Nine…

    • September 11, 2010 11:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Last night I attended a Jennifer Berezan concert at the Yukon Arts Centre. I’ve been hearing about Berezan for a while now. People in this community mention her with great fondness and respect. Always the conversation would be peppered with the spiritual aspect of Berezan’s music and the impact it had on the person’s life.

    The concert was divided into two parts. In the first half, Berezan sang folk songs with her band and in the second she performed Praises for the World, an “ecstatic and heart opening event” during which the audience joins Jennifer and her band singing the refrain “Praises for the World” over and over while individual performers speak or sing over top of the chorus.

    Before she began, Berezan told us that the experience had once gone on for two hours. We would be given the “Reader’s Digest” version at 45 minutes. The word “ecstatic” is used to describe the state created by the repetition of this powerful mantra and I could definitely see how two hours could take you there. At 45-minutes, however, it felt like we were just getting started.

    Behind the band, on a large screen, multi-media artist Marten Berkman projected images of our natural resources, our skies, our galaxy and finally our world. What a thing it is to see our little marble of a planet in one single photograph. It is so huge. And so tiny. We are so far apart and so close together. We are spinning in space. We are rooted to the earth.

    Don’t you just love all of these contradictions? Contained within the essence of our existence is the paradox. We are all alone yet we are inextricably linked together.

    At the end of the concert some of us stood up to sing and clap “Praises for the World” with Berezan and the band. Many people were sitting down. Too afraid to stand up? Perhaps. Unmoved by the the message? It’s possible. Uncomfortable in their bodies? Maybe so.

    I understand the reluctance in such situations to join the crowd. It can feel really yucky. But I got up to Praise the World and I clapped and I shook my tail feather because it’s not about me. It goes beyond my fear, beyond my discomfort, beyond my judgmental thinking. It goes beyond all of these things.

    It goes so far beyond that it actually goes up, up, up into the sky, into the galaxy, into space where the World looks so small that we can see ourselves as we really are: one single organism.

    And from this place of Oneness we can be assured, once again, that we are all in this together, bound by Existence, bound by a Force we cannot explain and yet see nonetheless, all around us, every day, manifest in every Living Thing.

    Praises for the World indeed.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: This world is worth standing up for. I will get up out of my seat and stand up for the gift I’ve been given. The Great and Miraculous Gift of Life.

    Ten…

    • September 10, 2010 8:57 am

    Dearest Readers,

    If I stick to my goal of blogging six days a week for one year then I have exactly ten more posts to go, including today. The countdown is on!

    A few people have asked me if I’m going to continue after the goal is reached (September 21st) and my answer is this: I honestly don’t know. It has been a profound experience in so many ways. I know I have devoted readers and I know people are being inspired by what I write. It’s inspiring me, too, day after day. Seems like a no-brainer, right?

    Not quite. The time and the energy it takes to meet this goal is enormous. I’ve thought about it a lot and there are a few different scenarios I can see happening. The first one is I take a little break. I know it’s going to feel good to wake up and feel the freedom of not having to post something. It’s going to feel like a vacation!

    Once I’ve taken that time I can see myself posting every once in a while when something truly inspires me to write. It won’t be as regular, which is one of the key points to having a successful blog but it might be more genuine. Instead of having to come up with something inspiring I’ll be posting only when the Spirit moves me, so to speak.

    The ideal scenario is that I find an online magazine to publish the blog and I remain in the rhythm of daily posting while generating income from the work. Wouldn’t that be nice?

    I have to admit I like this scenario best. And I’m working on it. I’ve submitted a proposal already to one online magazine and I’m looking at others. I’ll keep you posted…

    Another goal I have is to self-publish the blog in book format. A year’s worth of posts in a wee 5×7 format that people can keep on the bedside table. I’ve thought about calling it The Year of Living Spiritually (a take-off on The Year of Living Dangerously, a decent Mel Gibson flick from the eighties about a journalist living in Indonesia). What do you think?

    For now, let’s enjoy the countdown from ten knowing that we’ve made it this far together. I inspire you, you inspire me. Together we practice living our lives as fully as possible, each day, every day, to the best of our ability.

    Let’s rejoice in that, shall we?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: One of the most meaningful aspects of living is the feeling of connection with others. Even in cyber space we can feel connected to one another. Tapping into this sense of Oneness can carry us through the day, no matter what it brings. Today I will tap into that feeling and rejoice in it!

    The Anxious Man

    • September 9, 2010 8:41 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I heard a man tell a story and I’m going to re-tell it for you because it is powerful testament to what Marianne Williamson calls “the miracle”. The miracle is the Shift in Perception.

    One day a man left his office feeling very heavy. The weight of the world was on his shoulders. He was a newspaperman and stories of oil spills and murders and mayhem crowded his mind and held his thoughts hostage.

    As he walked along the street he could feel his anxiety increasing. All around him was pain and despair. He clenched his fists and tightened his jaw against the air around him, which felt oppressive and thick.

    He saw ahead of him on the sidewalk an old lady. She was tiny and frail and she used a walker. “How sad,” the man thought. “How terrible. A lonely, old woman who has no one. She can barely walk. Her bones look as though they might break at any moment. How tragic.” He sighed heavily with the sadness he felt for this woman’s situation.

    As the old lady approached him she looked up at the man, raising her head high from between her stooped shoulders. The man expected to see a hollow, empty face. Instead, she was smiling.

    “Isn’t it a beautiful day?” she said to him, beaming radiance and great warmth from deep within her fragile frame.

    “Y-yes,” the man replied, barely able to speak.

    The old lady continued on and the man stood watching her slowly push her walker down the sidewalk. It seemed as though a light had suddenly been turned on outside. Everything was brighter.

    The man looked around. The sun was shining. He had not noticed this before. It was a beautiful day after all.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I look around me what do I see? Do I see the darkness or the light? The Light is everywhere, all around us, all the time. Today I will look for it no matter how I am feeling.

    Courage is Coming

    • September 8, 2010 8:36 am

    Dearest Readers,

    No one is more surprised than I am by the work that I do as an Inspiring Coach and workshop leader. This work, which I consider to be an extension of my artistic practice, evolved from a process that had more to do with personal growth than growing a business. It was by walking through my own fear that Cultivate Your Courage was born.

    I’ll never forget the terror that seized me as the day of the very first workshop approached. The voices of dissent were loud. “Who do you think you are? You’re not a therapist!” When I shared my fear with one of my own coaches she said, “Don’t you think it’s just a little bit funny that you’re afraid to lead a workshop about fear?”

    Well, yes. I suppose it is just a little bit funny. “Now you can teach what you know,” she said.

    This Truth has continued to be my biggest motivator when it comes to being a leader in the motivational movement. I walk through my fear everyday. I’m an expert at it. That’s what qualifies me.

    So the terror is once again upon me as I expand the workshop beyond the borders of where I live by offering Cultivate Your Courage as a Teleclass. I’m excited, of course, and look forward to facilitating the call but the fear is present also. This is good news!  Again I have something to teach.

    We must acknowledge the fear. We must admit it we have it. “Yes, I’m afraid.” This takes away its power.

    If you are someone who feels ready for change, whose fear is somehow in the way of your greatest potential, please join me this evening for an hour of inspiration and self-reflection. If I can do it, you can do it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Despite my fear I will take a leap and try something new. I’m afraid to change but I’m willing. I’m willing to break through the old belief systems (Old BS!) in order to experience a new freedom in my life.

    Wait Here Before X-ing

    • September 7, 2010 9:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    (Aside: Forgive yesterday’s post. Because I committed to blogging six days a week for one full year I sometimes let myself get away with the absolute minimum in order to meet the goal. Unfortunately that can mean asking you to accept slapdash inspiration on days when time is an issue!)

    Yesterday as I was driving back from Keno City I hit a bird. Not a small bird but big, grouse-like creature. Big enough to make a sound when the impact hit. Big enough to feel.

    Actually, I should say the grouse (or ptarmigan) hit me. It flew out from the side of the road and straight across into the truck. Wham! I looked into the rearview mirror and saw a poof of feathers fly up and then the body of the bird roll and bounce out from under the vehicle. Awful.

    “What should I do?” I thought. “Stop?”

    By the time I had answered that question I was a long way down the road. So obviously the answer was “no”. I didn’t stop. Was that callous of me? Some might say, “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a bird.” Others might be horrified. “You could have at least pulled over and moved the poor thing to the ditch, Celia!”

    Later on down the road a bunny rabbit ran out from the side of the road just as I passed it. There was another vehicle right behind me and the fast little thing made it to the other side just a hair (I couldn’t resist) ahead of the speeding wheels of the other car. There were no other vehicles on the road. Why had that rabbit chosen to go right then? When the risk was highest? Here come two cars in a row. Go now!

    And why had the grouse flown into the truck?

    This reminds me of the times in my own life when I’ve thrown myself into situations without thought or careful discernment. I’ll just fling myself into this thing right now because I just have to go now and SMACK!

    Painful consequences. “Oh why did I have to do that?”

    Much improvement has been made, believe me. I take ridiculous amounts of time to make decisions now. But that time-taking determination has been borne out of getting a whallop one too many times. Look before you cross the road. Look both ways. Now look again. All clear? Are you sure? Okay. You can go.

    Who knows why animals feel compelled to throw themselves into oncoming traffic. I know why I’ve done it. Impatience. Fear of not getting what I want. Sometimes it is more compulsive. I’m driven by a self-destructive force and am powerless to make a healthy choice. Whatever the reason the outcome is never fun and there is rarely goodness to come from such behaviour.

    How to trust that waiting is the right thing to do? How to trust that Higher Guidance?

    Practice. Practice waiting and seeing. Practice allowing Higher Guidance to have the reins. Practice watching the unfoldment of events (in the situation you’ve let go of) and then bear witness to the results. When things work out better than we could have ever planned we will gain new trust in the Wisdom of Waiting.

    Only then can we really fly.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Even though I want to fly NOW I will wait and see if the skies are clear before I take off. I will begin to trust that by doing so I will be given the wings to soar.

    (By the way, tomorrow I will be leading a Cultivate Your Courage Teleclass and I hope that some of you will join me.)

    Ode to the Road

    • September 6, 2010 10:18 pm

    I heart Keno

    The silver city nestled

    in mountains jagged and round

    carved up by miners and their reveries.

    The highway stretching

    back and forth

    to that place

    from this one

    knows me

    but not me alone.

    All of us who’ve driven its curves

    its flats

    its scarred ridges and ruts

    have a relationship with each unmistakable section

    a familiar friend

    a lover of sorts

    always advancing

    yet disappearing behind

    creating a ribbon of ghosts

    and calling us home.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Life inspires poetry. We must live it fully and write our own existence with beauty and attention to detail. Every minute counts.

    Going Back

    • September 4, 2010 11:25 am

    Dearest Readers,

    A meeting I had scheduled for this morning got cancelled and I decided it would be a good opportunity instead to finish watching the last episode of Tess, a BBC mini-series version of Thomas Hardy‘s novel Tess of the D’Urbervilles. I downloaded the four episodes off iTunes last weekend and have been savouring each one slowly throughout the week, not wanting it to end.

    One of the very last scenes in the movie takes place at Stonehenge. I haven’t read the book so I don’t know if the scene is true to Hardy or not but what hit me hardest was not the characters’ story so much as the monument itself. It got me thinking. What’s it all about?

    According to the Wikipedia page I linked above, Stonehenge is a burial ground. Huh. But did the builders raise those stones to honour the dead or the living?

    Imagine living back then. There are no distractions. It is 2500 BC! What do people think of themselves? What gives them purpose? Not jobs, although perhaps work. The work it takes to survive. There is nothing to take away from the sensation of being. In fact, be-ing is really all you’ve got.

    We are alive. What is life? What is death? We do not know. Let us build something to honour Life.

    I recently asked a man I know who is a self-professed atheist how he explains the nature of being. He said he’d get back to me. I haven’t heard from him yet!

    There was a time when people erected seemingly impossible structures to express their wonder and their awe at the Great Mystery of Life. It’s still being done, yes, and yet I wonder has our intellect become the power to which we build our monuments today?

    Sending my thoughts back in time this morning, imagining what it would be like to know nothing of what we know today and be wholly devoted to simply honouring Life each day because nothing else was as important as that action… well, it kind of landed me in a deeper place.  Call it True Awareness.

    Call it thanks for cancelled meetings!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: There is so much around us to distract our senses from Awe. Today I will find my way back there, like a child or like an ancestor, free of worldly concerns and devoted simply to the Wonder of Being.

    Breathing Practice

    • September 3, 2010 11:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Where does your dark side come out? In traffic? In supermarket line-ups? Mine is on the phone with “agents”. You know, “Okay, you’d like to speak to an agent. One moment while I transfer you.” That kind of agent.

    It’s not pretty. I’ve worked on this, believe me. And then I’ve worked on it some more. And I continue to work on it, one call at a time.

    Yesterday, someone gave me a new tool. She called it a Breath Prayer. On the inhalation, you summon whatever Force you choose to believe is spinning the planet, whatever Higher Guidance you entrust with your life, and on the out breath you say the thing that is going to ground you in that Power.

    For example:

    Inhale Higher Guidance.

    Exhale Centre Me in Patience.

    I love this. It’s easy. It doesn’t take any time at all. And I can do it anywhere.

    Including on the phone with an (inhale, exhale) agent.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will create a Breath Prayer that works for me. I will keep it simple and make it meaningful and I will practice it whenever I need Grace on my side.