• Eleanor to the Rescue

    • May 10, 2010 10:07 am

    Dearest Readers,

    I’m not a birder and I don’t know my birds very well at all so I cannot tell you the name of the little hoppers that were jumping around in the yard yesterday picking at the earth with astonishing quickness. Their heads were striped black and cream and it looked like like they were wearing tiny hats. I was filled with pleasure watching them.

    So, for that matter, was the cat. The yard was teeming with these lovely little fliers and I think the cat was so worn out watching them, so overstimulated by observing their activity that he crawled under the covers for the rest of the day and slept.

    It’s amazing to me that I rarely, if ever, have the temptation to respond in a similar way to Life’s stimuli. I spent most of my teenage years and my twenties wishing I could crawl under a blanket and stay there and often doing just that.

    It seemed an appropriate response to the world and all its sublime beauty and mad horror. I did not have the skills to absorb it all.  Best not to deal with it at all then. Best to hide.

    This is where good old Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote has become one of my mantras, one of the tools I use regularly to avoid reverting to the cave. “You must do the thing you think you cannot do,” she tells us. I’ve used this call to action a lot (thanks, Eleanor) over the past couple of years and I continue to use it whenever the fear arises.

    For instance, I am about to perform a wee show this week and I was in the theatre over the weekend ironing out the technical aspects of the piece. I was standing backstage preparing for a run-through thinking, “What the heck am I doing here? I can’t do this!”

    This after performing on stage professionally for more than 10 years. The fear tells me to cancel, give up, withdraw. I imagine the worst. People hate the show, I embarrass myself, it’s a disaster. Everything inside of me says, “Run for the hills. Hide.”

    Now because I recognized that this is fear (false evidence appearing real) and not based in any kind of Truth (in fact, it is the ego’s greatest lie concocted to save me from its perception that I am about to be humiliated by allowing myself to be seen), I said, “Thanks for sharing now F-off,” and headed out on stage.

    Quite simply, I just do the thing I think I cannot do. Because really, we can do anything.  Anything.

    Let the fear crawl under the covers and stay there. I’m staying out here. With the little striped-capped birds. Hop hop.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Once more I will defy fear by telling it to F-off. Though its power over me can feel inordinate my willingness to walk through it will squelch this falsity like a slug in a bird’s beak.

    The Richness of Being

    • May 8, 2010 10:44 am

    Dearest Readers,

    How exquisite and recondite is Life that we can be weeping in grief one moment and laughing our guts out the next?

    As most of you know I have been blogging of late about the death of my friend Leanne Coppen. Before she died, when her friends and family were still convinced that she was going to beat the cancer, I sent an email to one of Leanne’s friends who had taken on the responsibility of gathering items for a silent auction to raise money for Leanne’s experimental treatment in Detroit.

    The gift I had to offer was an hour of Inspiring Coaching. The woman who was looking after the auction emailed me back and said, “Great!” A few days after Leanne died I emailed this woman to check in, acknowledging the sadness of it all as well as the connections, such as ours, Leanne had managed to unwittingly create.

    This lovely woman then scanned and emailed me a copy of the program from Leanne’s funeral as well as the text from Leanne’s father’s eulogy. As I read through his words yesterday I wept with profound sorrow.

    Then I wiped my tears, finished the task at hand and made lunch. Reading through The New Yorker as I ate I came across a cartoon called “F.A.Q.s about the Hadron Collider.”

    Now the only reason I know what the Hadron Collider is is because I read an article about it in The New Yorker months ago. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is something out of a Hollywood movie. It was developed, essentially, with the purpose of understanding the nature of the Big Bang, and in some way, will attempt to mimic the Big Bang itself, if they can ever get it to work. The LHC, its construction, its function and its operation, are astonishing things to wrap one’s brain around.

    So there I am, fresh from a deep cry over the death of my friend, reading this comic by Roz Chast, cracking up laughing.

    The cartoon depicts a brochure with a crowd of booby-looking people gathered together to ask questions about the LHC.

    “What would happen if I went inside it?” asks a Gomer Pyle-ish boy.

    Answer: Just. Don’t.

    “How many miles of pipes and whatnot are in it?” asks a Dame Edna-ish lady.

    Answer: A bajillion.

    “How much did it cost?” she continues.

    Answer: Forty squillion.

    And the best one of all: “If I concentrate ultra-hard, will I ever be able to understand it?”

    Answer: No.

    I’m telling you, I was laughing out loud, all alone, in my apartment, trying not to choke on my food.

    It occurred to me that I had just been balling and that is when I marveled at the mysteries of Being and since Leanne was a comic genius I knew she’d approve. After all, her departing words for all of her loved ones and faithful followers was, “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: There is so much possibility in every moment. Grief is necessary. Laughter is vital. We are alive.

    The Great Accountant

    • May 7, 2010 10:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Well, this is the first time posting on the new website. Change is never easy and I already miss the hot pink flavour of the Blogger blog but with this site you can leave comments and I can feel safe from the porn spammers.

    A cool thing happened yesterday, which was just another one of those follow-your-intuition-and-be-amazed kind of things, and it’s worth mentioning here.

    Many months back I was “friended” on Facebook by a woman named Laura Hollick. I didn’t know her from Adam but I liked her photo and she introduced herself as a Soul Artist, which I found intriguing.

    Recently, she sent me a link for a Teleclass she was leading called Follow Your Heart and Make Money. Since her approach seemed to be in alignment with my own desire to be fully self-supporting through my own artistic contributions I signed up.

    During the second class we were asked to “ask” our True Leader, which I interpret to be Higher Guidance and for the purposes of this class I am calling Inspiring Light, what 3 actions we could take to honour the process and create Flow.

    After taking the time to get quiet, ask and listen, I heard the Still Small Voice of Intuition responding and wrote down the actions I was to take. One of them, surprisingly, was to call the Chartered Accountant with whom I’d been in touch about doing a corporate tax return. He had given me some advice and I’d thanked him and said, “I’ll take it from here.”

    Hiring a CA is expensive and I was convinced I could figure it out myself.  So I would call my father, a lawyer who is good with numbers and he would say, “Well, if you had an accountant…” as we struggled to understand some of the more complicated details.

    Why was I resisting professional help? I have the money. There was absolutely no reason for me to NOT use the CA. Fear of spending the money, yes. Fear of letting go of control, yes. But other than that, it made very good sense.

    Walk through your fear.

    So I called and made an appointment.

    When I walked into their offices yesterday the man I had originally spoken to on the phone came to greet me. I recognize him immediately. He attends the United Church, to which I sometimes go in order to ground myself spiritually. In that moment, I felt like I’d been led right to the Source.

    So once again I am shown that when we ask and are willing to listen, we are supported and guided toward our Highest Good. Even with taxes!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Where am I looking for Guidance? I will ask for what I need today, for my next steps to be shown to me and I will trust that the answer will lead me to my Highest Good.

    Visionary Leadership

    • March 5, 2010 9:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today I am inspired by a man who spent almost 30 years in prison and then became a peaceful world leader. A man who embraced the country that once despised him and set about healing the wrongs of the past with love and understanding. A man who believed in forgiveness instead of revenge.

    This is Nelson Mandela.

    Last night I went to see Invictus, the film by Clint Eastwood about Mandela’s vision to unite his country using rugby. It’s an incredibly uplifting story, all the more so because it’s true.

    “Invictus” means inconquerable (I had to look it up) and it is the title of the poem that inspired Mandela to move forward, to never give up, to see the positive in the negative and to overcome his situation while in prison.

    Here it is:

    Invictus

    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.

    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll.
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

    William Ernest Henley (1849-1902)

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I believe in the power of forgiveness. It can change a man, his country and it can change the world. I will practice forgiveness in my own life knowing it is the most radical and most effective approach to healing myself and our planet.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    • December 29, 2009 9:46 am

    Dearest Readers,

    If you happen to be a perfectionist (recovering) like I am, you’ll agree that one of the most difficult challenges we face is looking at what we did well in any given situation rather than what we didn’t.

    A perfectionist can perform an act, for example, that 9 people praise and 1 person criticizes. Guess what we decide to focus on or even obsess about? The criticism.

    It has taken me a long time, and it’s still an ongoing process, to switch my focus to what I am doing well rather than pick at my mistakes. Some time ago, I began the practice of positive self-talk in order to counter the negative voices and it has turned out to be a tool that works well, bringing me great results.

    A friend of mine recently taught a class during which she made a couple of “mistakes” and she later emailed me to talk it over (I had been in the class). She was clearly feeling badly about it and even went so far as to call it a “gong show”.

    After the class, however, I and another gal had talked about what a great time we’d had and what a good teacher my friend is. We didn’t mention the “mistakes”. We weren’t even thinking about them!

    Of course, the so-called mistakes weren’t our own, but herein lies another tool to help us to let go of self-punishment: no one else is thinking about your mistakes. Why should you?

    My suggestion to my friend was that she tell herself outloud how well she did, that she go so far as to reach up her hand and give herself an actual pat on the back, all the while saying, “You did really well. Good for you!”

    This little trick has big repercussions. It grows our self-esteem and builds our confidence.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will focus on what a good job I am doing. I will look at my accomplishments, however small, give myself a pat on the back and tell myself how well I’m doing.

    Foxy Lady

    • November 10, 2009 8:05 am

    I moved back to the Yukon five years ago for many different reasons but the biggest one is that I feel most at home here. I’ve lived in a lot of different cities and towns all across Canada and in Europe but when I come back to Whitehorse I feel like my skin fits.

    The next biggest reason is the land. We’re surrounded by majestic mountains on all sides and that not only means we get to look at beautiful views it means we get to see wildlife on a regular basis.

    Last night I arrived home and picked up the cat to give him a snuggle. As I was petting him in my arms I looked out the kitchen window. I hadn’t closed the blinds before I’d gone out and the pitch black yard suddenly became illuminated by the porch light, which is activated by a motion detector.

    There, on the snow in front of my window was a bright-red, bushy-tailed fox. He did a little spin, perhaps confused by suddenly being in the spotlight, and then took off, trotting down the sidewalk and into the cut-through on the other side of this building.

    This past weekend, I went for one of my usual walks, which takes me along the Yukon river, up a bank of low lying cliffs and along a trail bordering the airport and overlooking the downtown core. I saw a big bird sitting on one of the streetlamps lining the road that runs parallel to the river for a stretch.

    I knew it was a bald eagle. It was too big to be a raven and I thought I could see a white head. As I got closer it lifted its head and turned to look toward the river. Yes, an eagle.

    As I approached, it did not fly away. Extreme close-up! I was just about underneath the streetlamp before it lifted its wings and swooped down toward the water.

    “It’s going to dive for fish!” I thought. But as it dove downward I saw 3 ducks bobbing in the river. The eagle flew right over top of them but instead of scooping up one of the tasty birds it flapped its wings and flew on, landing instead on a strip of ice nearby.

    It’s not like you can’t see wildlife in the Big Cities. As a matter of fact, when I was on the streetcar in Toronto recently I overheard a conversation between two young women during which one told the other that she’d seen a fox on her street the night before.

    So I can’t very well say, “We get foxes and you don’t!”

    But to look out the window and see foxes and coyotes (often happens) or leave the house and in less than a minute be walking alongside a mighty river where eagles and ducks hang out, well, there’s nothing like it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day:

    The wings of an eagle,
    The fine snout of a fox,
    Make life worth living
    Despite its hard knocks.

    Time Flies (or Not)

    • October 6, 2009 8:19 am

    I don’t know where I first heard the expression “Time is Elastic” but I use it a lot. I like it. It well describes the phenomenon of what we call time.

    Time can fly and drag equally. Time can be both long and short. It can move quickly or slowly. A minute can feel like a second or an hour. An hour can feel like a minute or a day.

    It’s all about perception.

    I once watched a documentary about a reformed bank robber and he talked at length about “stopping time”. He could actually slow time down to a stand-still in order to get the job done. He manipulated time to work in his favour by being present.

    I’ve worked with an acting coach who talked about “owning time”, which was essentially her way of saying, “be in the moment”. We could empower ourselves, she was saying, by being present.

    Time flies when we’re having fun but it also flies when we’re not really present in our lives. I know that when I’m running around trying to get things done I’m not in my life. I trying to get things over with and I’m missing my life all together.

    When we are present, when we are really here, now, time will not fly. It will barely move.

    As I sit here the clock on the wall ticks away the seconds. If I stop typing and listen to the tick-tick-tick it actually slows down. A watched pot never boils.

    I lived most of my life trying to get it over with. When it was Monday I’d be living for Friday. When it was Friday I’d be living in dread of Monday. I’d be living for Christmas when it was still September or living for July in the bleak mid-winter. I was not in my life. I was in my head, future-tripping.

    It’s taken me years of practice to let go of that way of living and believe me, I don’t do it perfectly. But every new day gives me the opportunity to continue practicing being in my life, being in my day, in my body, with my breath. Present.

    Animals are great inspiration. A couple of summers ago I was in Keno City, an old mining town in the north of the Yukon, and I and a couple of friends were exploring some of the abandoned, run-down buildings where the miners had once lived.

    I found a sunny platform and sat down for a rest. The sun was shining, the fall colours were luminous and the far mountains had fresh snow on their peaks. A Richardson Ground Squirrel (or a gopher to some) popped up from a hole in the decaying floor of what once may have been a kitchen.

    He sat very still, the wind blowing his fur, his eyes blinking in the bright sun. He sat and sat and sat. He did not move. I was mesmerized. Was he thinking? If so, what was he thinking? He wasn’t being busy, cleaning himself or scratching or eating. He was simply being. For ages!

    I often think of that little guy when I’m getting squirrelly. Can I just be? Can I just let go of everything and simply experience what is happening around me without judgment or thought?

    It’s a great challenge and one that brings me a lot of peace. I can slow time down and enjoy my life. What a concept.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If animals get to simply be all day long, why not us? Maybe we don’t have to DO anything. Maybe we just have to BE.

    Baraka – Thread of Life

    • October 5, 2009 10:02 am

    I’m now in Vancouver staying at my friends’ condo overlooking the marina beside Granville Island. I can see the gorgeous art deco pillars of the Burrard Street bridge and the shiny glass jungle of high-rise condos across the channel.

    It’s fabulous.
    Last night I watched “Baraka”, a film made in the early nineties that has no dialogue, only images and an accompanying soundtrack. If you haven’t seen it, the summary on the DVD reads:
    “Baraka is a transcendent global tour that explores the sights and sounds of the human condition… in 24 countries on six continents.”
    The word “baraka” is from the Sufi language and it translates to “the thread that weaves life together.”
    One of the most memorable shots in the film is of a Balinese monkey sitting in a hot spring in the middle of a snowy mountain range. The camera lingers on him for some time and the viewer is treated to a meditation on who he is, who we are and how we are indubitably connected.
    One of the things I talk about in a speech I give about having a Higher Purpose and living according to a Higher Plan, is coincidence. (You can watch the speech on You Tube — Search “Let Go of Your ‘But'” and my name.) 
    Coincidence means, “a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.”
    The key word for me in this definition is “apparent”. Apparent means, “clearly visible”.
    So when I experience coincidence, the reason is not clearly visible. I have to go deeper. I have to refer to the other word that stands out in that definition, which is “remarkable.”
    Remarkable means “extraordinary”, which itself means “outside the normal course of events.”
    When I arrived in Kamloops this past Friday I took a shuttle from the airport to the hotel. As we drove through the dark I listened to a man tell the woman beside him all about his trip to Germany where his family lives and where he was born and raised. I got to know something about him on that night bus and was inspired by his story.
    When I arrived at the Kamloops airport on the Sunday to fly to out Vancouver, who do you suppose was the Air Canada agent that checked me in?
    Mr. German Shuttle Bus.
    Baraka! This man and I did not speak and I did not tell him that I knew the name of his hometown and favorite drink. Seeing him again simply confirmed that the thread that weaves life together is always being spun.
    Inspiring Message of the Day: Even the most banal coincidence is remarkable because it confirms that we are a part of something Greater that is guiding us in every single moment of our lives.

    Look Back in Anger

    • October 2, 2009 7:35 am

    And what of anger?

    I have heard that anger is really fear in disguise. I have heard that depression is unexpressed anger. I have even heard that cancer is rage unreleased.

    For many years I believed it was not “spiritual” to be angry. The truth is, we cannot really be living the Spirit as long as we are denying our anger.

    I was an angry child. I like to say I was in a bad mood for 27 years. For most of my twenties, when I was trying to be spiritual, I repressed my anger, stuffed it, pretended it wasn’t there.

    Ten years ago, when I finally got on the healing path, I had to learn first to admit that I was angry and then how to express it in a healthy way.

    There is a line from the Gus Van Sant film “Milk” starring Sean Penn as Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California, and it keeps coming back to me.

    There is a huge crowd of people in the gay Castro District, where “Milk” is mostly set, and those involved in the protest have just experienced what feels like one more terrible injustice.

    Milk and his compadres fear a riot. He gets on the bull horn and he says, “I know you’re angry…”

    And here we expect him to say, “BUT…”

    “But it’s okay, but don’t worry, but it will be alright.”

    But he doesn’t.

    Harvey Milk says, “I’M ANGRY!”

    And then they walk, together, in anger and in peace, to continue proclaiming their cause.

    It’s an incredibly moving moment.

    I’m writing about anger this morning because I’M ANGRY.

    It was a little thing that made me realize I had some unexpressed anger looking to be extracted from my body, just a little thing that wouldn’t work properly, a thing that was stuck and I was trying to un-stick it, just a small thing.

    The more I tried to make it work, and couldn’t, the more frustrated I got.

    I’M ANGRY.

    Okay, boy, wow. Awareness comes first. Then action: time to do something about that!

    And I will. I will go within, where the answers lie, I will share with someone who has wisdom about such things, and I will find a way to express the anger and get it out of my body.

    Howling in the bush always helps.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My anger is valid. It needs to be expressed in a healthy way. Identifying it, sharing it and then releasing it will bring me back to peace.

    Courage 101

    • October 1, 2009 6:55 am

    The reason the URL address for this blog is called Cultivate Your Courage and why I lead an Inspiring workshop with the same name is not because I am THE MOST COURAGEOUS WOMAN and I am here to teach all of you how to be courageous.

    It’s because I need to cultivate my own courage everyday to live in this world.

    The CYC workshop was originally called Walk Through Your Fear. (You’d be amazed how many people would rather cultivate their courage than walk through their fear!)

    Name change aside, the idea for the workshop came to me after a prayer/meditation session. I was seeking guidance around how to generate some income outside of my artistic practice using the gifts and the talents that have been given to me.

    What could I do? I could lead a workshop. Okay. What on? What am I a true expert at doing? What do I know well enough that I could teach it?

    There it was: I walk through my fear. Every single day. In every situation. I feel the fear and I do it anyway.

    Despite the fact that I have the spiritual understanding that there is really nothing to fear, my little human form has a harder time grasping that notion.

    Sometimes I wake up in cold, naked fear and I don’t know why. I’ve gone to bed with joy and peace in my heart and when I awaken it’s a whole un-brave new world.

    This morning I woke up with the fear upon me. Lots of things to feed it: traveling tomorrow, taking cat to the kennel today, beginning of a new month, swine flu blah blah blah.

    I did what I always do to cultivate my courage: I prayed.

    I heard somewhere that prayer is not for the Power to whom you are praying. It is for you. I agree. When I pray, it is I that am changed.

    As I expressed my fear and asked for guidance my heart began to ease, the anxiety began to lift and I was returned to a state of well-being, gratitude and relaxation.

    I received the Inner Guidance I needed to live this day fully and passionately, as though it were my last. I remembered that it’s not about me, that I am here to be a worker for the Creator.

    I don’t know how prayer works. I just know it does.

    Inspiring Message for the Day: When I speak what is in my heart to the Power that makes the grass grow, the flowers bloom and the wind blow, I receive the strength I need to move forward with joy and fearlessness.