• Grace Full

    • June 24, 2010 10:05 am

    Dearest Readers,

    These posts of late have been short and (hopefully) sweet because I’m writing them on an iPhone and because my days here on the ashram, though relaxed, are quite full. But if I had a little more time I could tell you some pretty amazing stories.

    They’ll have to wait.

    For now, I’ll share with you my thoughts on the topic of Grace, which was the subject of last night’s study discussion.

    We were told that Grace is an unmerited gift. One does not have to do anything to receive Grace. Grace is everywhere. Grace is always present. Grace is all there is. Grace is, in fact, the true definition of God. So Grace simply Is.

    Though we can better receive Grace by becoming fit vessels (through prayer, meditation, right eating, right living etc.) the Nature of Grace is such that one does not have to be a fit vessel to receive It. Grace does not discriminate.

    Because Grace is all there is, the unfit vessel is always receiving Grace just as the fit vessel is also. However, in order to better experience Grace, one must become open and willing.

    With these qualities the individual will come to know Grace intimately and the Gift will have true meaning.

    If I had a million years I couldn’t tell you of the Grace I am now experiencing. Well, maybe I could. With a laptop.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My desire is to know Grace. Because this Gift is mine by birthright I will accept its offer by being open and willing to receive it.

    We Shall Receive

    • June 23, 2010 1:11 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    One of the challenges I have faced in the past is learning how to receive. Coming to believe that I deserve a gift has been a process which has involved a great deal of healing work.

    It has paid off.

    Yesterday a woman on the ashram who has been attending the Inspiring Sessions I’ve been leading offered me a free Reiki session with her. She is a healer and invited me to receive her gift in thanks for the healing work I’ve been doing throughout the week.

    While in the session, I began to think of how I could pay her back. I could offer her a free Inspiring Coaching session!  But something stopped me. What if I didn’t have to do anything to pay her back? What if I could just accept her gift unconditionally? What then? Then I would be affirming that I am worthy of the gift of healing.

    When the session was over I said nothing but thank you.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: The open heart receives. Today I will allow myself to receive a gift that is offered to me and I will give nothing but my word of thanks in return.

    Don’t Get It

    • June 22, 2010 9:13 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This morning I attended a Puja in one of the temples here on the ashram. A puja is a ceremony that involves worshipping the deities of the Hindu faith. The altar is cleansed and purified, the statues of the deities are washed with milk and water, chanting and prayers are sung and spoken and then the statues are dressed in fancy cloth and prayer beads are hung around their necks.

    As fascinating as this ritual is I have found it rather strange and difficult to understand. But an open mind is the aspirant’s best friend and so I have done my best not to judge.

    At this point in time, without having done the real homework (asking someone to explain it to me), I have deduced that the real meaning of the Puja lies in the action of the thing. By spending this kind of devoted time in worship the aspirant is not only expressing her thanks but she is also given an opportunity to experience Oneness with her Creator.

    As I began to let go of my judgment I started to appreciate the patience and focus the ritual required. I was then invited up to the altar to participate in the ceremony. As I assisted the monk in the washing of Lakshmi I felt strangely honoured to be a part of this service.

    When I returned to the meditation cushion where I had been sitting my heart felt full and I was moved to tears. Why? What had taken place?

    Maybe it’s best not to try and figure it out. When I do that I tend to miss the point.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I do not need to understand everything. Sometimes when I just let things happen the understanding comes all by itself.

    Still and All

    • June 21, 2010 8:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As I write this I am watching a little green lizard climb up a nearby tree. I have been seeing a lot of these creatures skittling around the ashram and they fill me with pleasure. We can learn stillness from the lizard.

    Ah, stillness. Something so lovely and excruciating all at once. When the body becomes still the mind wakes up. The mind gets busy thinking. That’s why you’ll hear so many people say, “I can’t meditate.”  We think to meditate means to have a quiet mind.

    Meditation, in fact, will reveal the activity of the mind thus giving us the opportunity to practice letting it all go. When I arrived on the ashram a few days ago I was pretty stimulated from 10 days of constant activity. Sitting still in silence gave my mind the time to think about everything that had happened. How to let go and be here now?

    Practice. It’s the only answer. Keep at it. Like people who say, ” I can’t do yoga because I’m not flexible” we need to be reminded that yoga promotes flexibility. The more I give myself over to sitting still the louder the mind will get but with time and willingness I will get better at simply Being.

    The lizard is my guru!

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     The nature of the mind is to think. When I understand this I can give myself a break for having an over-active melon. Meditation is a practice which teaches me to Be instead of to think. I will give myself the gift of this practice today.

    I am

    • June 19, 2010 9:39 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Here on the ashram life is quite simple.  Waken early, meditate, chant, practice yoga for the body, eat, do service, study, more yoga, eat again, meditate again, study some more and bed. Nothing complicated about that.

    But the study, well, I wouldn’t say it’s complicated, rather it is decidedly simple but it is not easy. For here we study the Ultimate Reality and becoming that which we already are: the manifestation of Pure Consciousness.

    Yup, told ya it was simple.

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     Who am I really? I am a human being, yes, and I, too, am a part of the Great I Am, the Power of Oneness Back of All Things. When I remember this my fear is relinquished.

    To Paradise

    • June 18, 2010 6:58 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Made it back to Montreal after a full day of driving with stops along the way to see family and friends. Arrived alive, thank heavens.

    I’m on my way to the Bahamas this morning and preparing to settle into ashram life. This means quiet, contemplative and communal living. I can’t wait.

    I’m functioning on very little sleep right now so I’m afraid this post will be less than it could be but my day was just made by the look of joy on a boy’s face when I returned his baseball cap to him after he’d forgotten it in the waiting area. What a smile!

    Even though I’m blogging about it, what made the gesture especially enjoyable is that I did it anonymously. I gave the hat to a flight attendant to give to the boy. She got the credit but I got the reward.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today, just for fun, I will commit a random act if kindness anonymously. If I tell someone about it I will do something else to replace it!

    Day Eleven

    • June 17, 2010 4:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Hitting the road again again after being in Kitchener four days during the Magnetic North Theatre Festival. Tomorrow I get on a plane and fly to the Bahamas to lead Cultivate Your Courage. The weekly weather page for Bahamas on the iPhone has seven straight clouds with ferocious-looking lightening bolts. Should be an interesting week.

    On my way back to Montreal today I will be passing through Port Hope, Ontario, where I lived for three years before I moved back to the Yukon in 2004. My grandparents on my mother’s side still live there, as do her 3 sisters. I’ll be stopping in to see them as I pass.

    My grandparents are quite elderly and though they have managed to stay in their own home until now (with lots of outside help) the time has come for them to move into a senior’s residence. It will be an enormous change for them and though my grandmother is scared she is ready to go. My grandfather, to say the least, is less than thrilled about the move.

    When I lived in Port Hope I went over to see them every single day. I had left Montreal to look after my parents’ second home in Port Hope. It was a sweet deal. I got to live in plantation-style home, they got a property manager.

    In Montreal I had been working in both a seniors’ residence and a nursing home. Both jobs gave me insight into the aging process and appreciation for the elder experience. I also had a knack for working with old folks. My daily visits to my grandparents were rooted in service work. I went there to give them unconditional love and care once a day, without fail.

    Last night when I called my grandparents to tell them I was coming, my grandfather, who has trouble hearing (and listening) said, “I know I’m not supposed to say this but I think of you as a special granddaughter. The time we spent together when you were here was a wonderful period in our lives.”

    The last time I visited I said good-bye to them. And the time before that. Every time I go there I know it may be the last. So today I get to see them and say another good-bye. I considered zooming right past the town and skipping the visit altogether. Port Hope is nestled right beside the highway and it would make my day so much easier. But Life is not always about choosing the easy path.

    Yesterday the wind was as strong as I’ve ever felt it. The force was almost hurricane-like. I watched it whip the trees and pushed against it as I walked and remembered suddenly that I’d dreamt of a tornado the night before. In the dream, I saw the twister in the distance coming toward me. I remember being afraid.

    My job today is to go and be present with my grandparents. To give them love and support as the winds of change blow through their fragile lives. May it pass through without too much destruction.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I want to avoid the difficult emotional territory that comes with familial relationships I will remember that Unconditional Love heals all wounds. It is a Force of Nature, more powerful than anything else in the world.

    Give Praise

    • June 16, 2010 7:47 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The other day a woman whom I’ve known for many years but have not seen for a good while approached me with a big hug and a kiss and extremely glad tidings. Of course I returned the affection with pleasure and we promised to connect in the coming days but I walked away feeling confused. The last time I had seen this woman she had seemed less than thrilled to see me. Even somewhat cold. What had changed?

    Last night we had the opportunity to connect once more and after catching up and sharing the last few years of our lives it came out. Rather, I deduced it, for she would never have said, “This is why I am being kind to you again,” but sometimes words reveal more than other words can say.

    Last year she had left me a phone message — business related — and I had called her back, got her voice mail, and left her a reply message. In my message I gave her encouragement and validation. I had heard of a real success she had made and so praised and celebrated her achievements, validating her hard work in the process.

    As we spoke last evening she recalled getting my message and with hand on heart, described how much it had meant to her, how it had caused her to reflect on her hard work and finally validate it for her Self. It was a deeply felt moment for both of us though she may not have guessed as much for me.

    The lesson here is twofold: One, never make assumptions. When this woman seemed so happy to see me I assumed all kinds of things, none of which had any kind of accuracy. Two, a little encouragement goes a long way.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will take the time to genuinely encourage another person. When we praise, celebrate and validate someone else’s progress or success it comes back to us in untold ways.

    Going For It

    • June 15, 2010 5:14 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today is a “Yes, open the door,” kind of day. Or gate. Either way, I am afraid but I am willing to move forward and walk through my fear.

    Though I am in Kitchener for a conference I am going back into Toronto for the day to meet with a couple of film distribution companies to talk about Last Stop for Miles. I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s totally new territory. The anxiety is close to vomit-inducing.

    Okay, I’m exaggerating for effect but I am working diligently to practice being here now, trusting my Self and letting go of outcomes through mild heart palpitations. This work is constant. Every second I go into my head and every second I’m breathing to bring myself back into my heart. Remember the Big Picture, Celia!

    Ah, yes the Big Picture. What is really important? The world doesn’t revolve around me. There is a Higher Plan afoot. All that good stuff. Need it. Breathe it. Live it.

    Thanks for being there everybody. You’re like silent cheerleaders. I’m so grateful to you!

    Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will be my authentic Self. I will let go of the desire to impress and the need for acknowledgment. I will trust that when I am true to who I am, everything Flows exactly as it should.

    Day Eight

    • June 14, 2010 3:55 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Here I am in Kitchener, Ontario, for the Magnetic North Theatre Festival and outside the birds are chirping up a storm as the day breaks. They are competing with the endless rush of traffic that whooshes by on the street below, a main thoroughfare. Amazing how we co-exist, isn’t it?

    Each morning I have ritual that I call my spiritual practice. It involves prayer, meditation and yoga. I usually read from some kind of devotional literature and this morning’s reading talked about the idea of inner change leading to outer change, which happens to be something I believe very strongly.

    Here is a caption:

    “It is not your circumstances that need altering so much as yourself. After you have changed, conditions will naturally change.”

    This tenet is one of the basics of metaphysics: my belief systems are creating my reality. This, of course, is easier to swallow when things are going well. When things are not going so well it is tougher to accept the idea that I might have something to do with it.

    But here’s the part I like: It’s not my fault. And here’s the catch: it is my responsibility. If I’m attracting negativity I’m not a bad person and doing it all wrong. I just have a faulty belief system that needs rewiring. In order to change and be changed I must be willing to do the inner work. Only for that am I responsible.

    For years I would attract car accidents. Thank goodness I made it out alive and uninjured every single time. But it was wild, I’m tellin’ ya. The last one was in the north of BC on a logging road and as the truck went off the road and flipped over onto its side I actually said to myself, “Here we go again.”

    Now I could choose to believe that this was a lot of bad luck or I could choose to look at it metaphysically. What needs to “crash” on the inside? Well, my whole Way Of Being, frankly. I needed to change my entire friggin’ life. And finally I did. No more accidents. For today 😉

    I’m not perfect. The Old BS (belief systems) that are presently in the process of being extracted are stubborn and tough hangers-on. I’m having to practice patience big-time right now because I just want them (one in particular) GONE. But I’m not the Do-er. I’m just the gal through whom the Do-er works.

    So this morning, as the darkness turned to grey and then to a lighter grey (no sun in Kitchener today) I prayed for that “altering” of myself one more time and the patience to live with my imperfect Self for another day. I remain willing and I let go of the desire to spin the planet.

    And the birds sing on.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If my outward circumstances need changing I will start with my inner life. What is broken? Where can I be healed? I will ask for Guidance and become willing to change and be changed.