• Bonus Points

    • August 10, 2010 8:28 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today’s post is a shout-out to the Universe, specifically the God of In-flight Services.

    Very recently, after traveling for two months, two full months of adventures and misadventures, challenges and mishaps, personal victories and physical pain, spiritual revelations and selfless service, walking through fear and cultivating courage, acting “as if”, faking it ’til I made it, surrendering Old BS, loving unconditionally, responding with compassion and generally putting myself out there in every and all possible ways in order to grow and stretch my limitations, I was given a First-Class Gift.

    For some unknown reason, the woman at the check-in counter assigned me to a seat in Business Class on the flight from Montreal to Vancouver. So unexpected was the surpriseĀ I walked right passed the seat she gave me when I got on the plane. I had to wait to get back to it, tucking myself out of the way as people streamed on board the plane.

    The most amazing part about this story is this: that morning, I had planned to make myself a meal for the flight but my mother had tossed out the food with which I was going to make it. (I blogged about it.)

    I was incredibly angry. I could have blasted her with a tirade about her control issues all the while ignoring my own. A few short years ago, I would have. But I didn’t. I let it go. It was not easy. But I said a little prayer, surrendered and trusted the fact that there would be food to be found elsewhere. I would be taken care of.

    And was I! First Class, folks. Mixed green salad with tomato and bocconcini, baked salmon with lemon ginger sauce, vegetables and rice. Ice cream and cookies for dessert. (I don’t even eat dessert but you get the idea.)

    It was hard to believe. I kept thinking someone was going to come and say, “We made a mistake. Get outa here.” But no one did. And I slept soundly in the big, comfy, spacious seat, full of wonder and appreciation.

    So a BIG shout-out to the One Who Gives Us Gifts. Thanks for the abundance, the luxury, the beautiful ending to an astonishing voyage.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I receive an Unexpected Gift I will remember to give thanks.

    Body Works

    • August 9, 2010 10:28 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Physical exercise remains one of the greatest of all ways to move one’s energy from the low to the Flow. Yesterday, saddled with the heaviness of re-entry, I knew that I needed to tip the balance over to the activity side of things. So, after a great deal of resistance, I forced myself to go outside and get on my bike.

    My plan was to ride to the Black St. stairs (a loooooong staircase that climbs from street level to the top of the cliffs that line the west side of this fair city), lock up my bike, run up the stairs and down again, and then head back home. Get it over with quick.

    Once on my bike, however, I felt instantly energized. I decided to take advantage of the bike ramp on the stairs and push my bike to the top. From there I raced along the Alaska Highway, my muscles responding to the work with joy. I could feel the lethargy leaving my body with every pump of my legs.

    As I sped down the long and winding road named for Robert Service and rode the rest of the way home along our lovely Millenium Trail I felt incredible gratitude for remembering that when I’m not feeling great, moving my body in some way will restore me to wellness.

    Re-enter that.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When my energy is low I will move. It may be the last thing I feel like doing, it may even feel impossible. But if I do it my energy will shift and I will be returned to Maximum Wellness.

    Bit By Little

    • August 7, 2010 10:12 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This month I am working on GITA and it’s proving to be a difficult challenge. Writing a play is never easy but I’ve had pretty good luck with the process in the past. Most (but not all) of the first drafts I’ve written have poured out of me without too much resistance. This one, however, is not so fluid.

    As I described my writing activities to a friend last night I found myself back in that old familiar territory of “I’m not enough.” Here is a summary of our exchange:

    Friend: So what are you up to for the rest of the summer?

    Me: I’m supposed to be writing a play. But it’s not really happening. I’m not giving it a lot of time or focus. I’m managing between 10 minutes and 30 minutes a day but it’s not really enough.

    Friend: That’s not bad. It’s better than nothing.

    Me: That’s true. It is.

    Friend: Starting something new isn’t easy.

    Me: That’s true, too.

    Ah! Don’t you love it when friends say the things to you that you would say to them? For some nutty reason we just can’t say these things to ourselves.

    Starting a new project is not easy. Doing a little bit each day is progress, however slow. It is the action that counts. The effort, not the result.

    So I better get off this post and make a little bit more effort!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Do I have a project that I would like to begin? What if I started with ten minutes a day? What if this could be enough? I will pick a project, do a little bit and accept progress rather than perfection as my success.

    We Shall Overcome

    • August 6, 2010 8:56 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I wrote a kind of meditation on life andĀ death. Well, you want to talk about life and death? Go and seeĀ Soundtrack for a Revolution. I watched a presentation of it last night brought to our fair city by Ā the Yukon Film Society. It’s a filmĀ about the Civil Rights Movement and how Gospel Music played a part in its victory. It’s also about overcoming our greatest fear.

    Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who was the Movement’s central figure, said something in one of his speeches that rocked me to my core. He said, “In order to have freedom we must overcome this fear of death.”

    Okay, their lives were on the line. He said this because the protesters were being killed. He knew he might well be killed. He was killed. But those words of his, they are, in my opinion, The Greatest Truth of All. They are relevant in all of our lives, everyday, no matter who we are.

    For even when there is no danger, even when we have all of our rights and all of our dignities and desires, we can still be imprisoned by fear.

    At the end of the movie I heard a young woman say that she thought it was a powerful film “except for the religious stuff.” Hello? She missed the whole point. It was Dr. King’s faith, his utter devotion to the Gospel of Peace and Justice, thatĀ drove him and, in fact, carried the entire Movement, leadingĀ ultimately to its victory.

    Our present circumstances may not seem as dire. Today, the majority of North American people do not feel oppressed by injustice. And yet I would venture to say that the majority of us are oppressed by our fear.

    The call to “Let Freedom Reign” can be just as significant in our lives today, just as meaningful, if we are shackled by childhood fears, held back by Old BS (belief systems), strangled by trauma and shame.

    The Civil Rights Movement was such an unbelievably monumental happening. It was a Seismic Shift in both Inner and Outer Consciousness. It changed government and it changed hearts and minds. What cannot be dismissed is the undeniable Truth of its Message. At its very core was a profound belief in our inherent ability to overcome fear through faith.

    This is the Real Freedom available to us all.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Let me not confuse Faith with religion, which may cause me to reject its Power. Let me explore the idea of using Faith to overcome my deepest fears.

    Is This The Real Life

    • August 5, 2010 8:30 am

    Dearest Readers,

    If you have been reading this blog for a while you will remember my friend Leanne. She was killed by cancer just a few short months ago. I think of her often, acknowledge her in little ways, say prayers in her name and even speak directly to her. It allĀ  helps.

    LastĀ  night she appeared in my dreams. Have you ever had a dream about someone who is dead? It takes a moment to register first that the person is alive before your very eyes and second that he/she really did die in waking life. The sensation is almost impossible to describe.

    When Leanne and I met in the dream we were in a classroom surrounded by our high school chums. Not surprising. This is where she and I spent most of our time together. All of a sudden, there she was.

    “You’re alive!” I said.

    “Yeah,” she said, “I know. It’s pretty amazing.”

    She looked amazing. Like she did when we were teenagers: healthy, vibrant, glamorous. In fact, Leanne still had all of these qualities when she was living with cancer. She was as gorgeous as ever.

    But in the dream there was something different about her. Despite her radiant beauty there was a stiffness and a puffiness in her face. I have seen bodies that have been embalmed. Her jaw looked somewhat like this.

    I’m sorry if that’s morbid. But the unnaturalness in her face kept reminding my conscious self that I was dreaming. Something was not right.

    And yet the reunion was celebratory. Leanne was alive! Alive. Incredible. And so real. When I awoke I couldn’t believe it. I got to see her, to speak with her, to be near her again.

    Did it really happen? Did she visit me? Can the spirit of a person come to another person through a dream?

    Once a friend of mine gave me a card that said, “I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterfly dreaming I am a man.” The quote is by Chuang Tzu, an ancient Chinese Philosopher who may or may not have existed.

    The quote, according to Burton Watson, an “accomplished translator of Chinese and Japanese literature and poetry”, references “the Transformation of Things.”

    I found this quote when I Googled “the transformation of things”:

    “[The butterfly dream] shows that, although in ordinary appearance there are differences between things, in delusions or in dreams one thing can also be another. The transformation of things proves that the differences among things are not absolute.”

    In my dreams Leanne is alive. In waking life she is not. The difference between these two truths is not absolute. “Absolute” means “final”.

    Leanne’s death was final. And yet not. Wait a minute, am I a butterfly?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Life has so many puzzles and riddles. I cannot solve them all. But I can embrace them. I can embrace the Mystery and be held by its Great Power.

    Mid-Week Tools

    • August 4, 2010 11:09 am

    Dearest Readers,

    My brain is full of ideas right now. I have a number of projects cooking and dividing my time so that each of them has my focus is proving rather challenging. I’m not complaining. This is a Cadillac problem, folks. And yet I do need to simplify in order to stay on track.

    What have I got in the tool kit to keep it simple? Here are a few good ones:

    One Day at a Time: I can only do what I can do today. I can only ever accomplish the task at hand. I can’t work in the future. I can’t get things done next week. If I stay in today, if I do the next right thing, I will achieve all that I am supposed to in this day in which I am now living.

    Don’t Push: I don’t have to make anything happen. I am not the Maker. If I am forcing myself or forcing outcomes I have somehow ended up in the Driver’s Seat. Pushing feels like stress. Physically, pushing feels like tightness and tension. Pushing often creates the opposite response: lethargy. Rather than push, I can practice letting go.

    Letting Go: I’m going to re-word a quote from one of my mentors, Sister Helen Prejean (who wrote Dead Man Walking), who said “Forgiveness is a path. It’s not an act.” Letting go is a path, it’s not an act. I need to walk this path everyday. We don’t learn how to let go once and then become masters. We cultivate the ability to let go. We practice. We surrender our desire to be in control whenever we remember.

    Enjoy Life: What a concept.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: What is the task at hand? I will do it. What is the outcome? None of my business. Am I enjoying my Life? Only when I truly Surrender and Let Go Absolutely.

    Meaning What

    • August 3, 2010 10:11 am

    Dearest Readers,

    When I landed home over the weekend after two months away I found a big pile of The New Yorker magazine waiting for me. My father gave me a subscription a couple of Christmases ago and after my initial anxiety over the frequency of their arrival (“How am I ever going to read them all?”) I soon became hooked.

    In the May 31st issue there is an article on the great writer Somerset Maugham who is most well-known for his novels Of Human Bondage and The Razor’s Edge, neither of which I have read. I recall reading one of his short stories in university but I don’t remember its title. His name, however, has stayed with me.

    The writer of the NY article writes that the protagonist in Of Human Bondage discovers “that life has no meaning other than what one makes of it.” I found this very interesting. It’s kind of like the old riddle “when a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”

    If we were not here to experience Life, would It have any meaning? Without us, without the human experience, is there any meaning to anything at all?

    In my own search for meaning I’ve often thought that we exist in order for Existence to know Itself. Hmmm, I might be getting a little too deep for a Tuesday morning. Let’s go back to the quote.

    “Life has no meaning other that what one makes of it.”

    If I believe Life is meaningless, it will be. I’ve tried the Way of No Meaning. It doesn’t feel very good. Conversely, if I believe Life has meaning then I will come to experience Its Meaning in All Manner of Things. This, too, I have tried. It not only works, it makes Life worth living.

    It’s a rather simple formula, isn’t it? Much more suited to a Tuesday morn.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” ~ Julian of Norwich


    Silent Recognition

    • August 2, 2010 10:48 am

    Dearest Readers,

    After two months on the road I am home (sweet home) and it feels great to be here. Yesterday afternoon after completing the cardio spurt I committed to last year I looked out at the mountains, deep green with summer life, and said to myself, “Man, I love this place.”

    When I flew home the other day I had a long layover so decided to take the Canada Line into Vancouver to run some errands. After a fruitful shopping session I headed back to the airport to spend the rest of my time chilling in the departure lounge.

    On my way back inside the airport I witnessed an interesting exchange between a guy heading in my direction and a guy heading in the opposite direction, for the trains. This is the conversation that took place:

    Guy Heading for the Airport: Are you going downtown?

    Guy Heading for the Trains: Uh, yes.

    GHFTA: I have a Day-Pass and I don’t need it. Would you like it?

    GHFTT: How much do you want for it?

    GHFTA: No, nothing. You can have it. It’s good for the whole day.

    GHFTT: Oh, okay. Thanks. Thank you.

    GHFTA: You’re welcome. It’s good for the whole day!

    As the GHFTA and I walked inside I was tempted to say something to him. I wanted to acknowledge his generosity in some way, you know, validate it for him. It was on the tip of my tongue to speak, to say the words, “That was really generous of you.” He stood right in front of me, the escalator carrying us down together.

    I kept silent.

    Why? Was it fear? No. I’ve been afraid to speak out in such situations before but this time it was something else that held my tongue.

    Humility. Both his and mine.

    First of all, his: The GHFTA didn’t do what he did for recognition. He made the decision alone, he took the action alone and he alone would receive the benefits of such kindness.

    And we all know what those are, don’t we? A sense of satisfaction at having done something decent. A feeling of righteousness without the “self” in front. Integrity, increased self-esteem. All good stuff.

    Okay, secondly, mine: The GHFTA didn’t need me to make his action count. Who was I to interfere? “That was really generous of you.” No duh. That’s why he did it.

    Don’t get me wrong. As an Inspiring Coach I’m all about validating our successes, however small. But by keeping my mouth shut I was acknowledging my own insignificance in the situation. I was the Silent Witness, nothing more.

    This action not taken on my part was inspired by the GHFTA’s own humble gesture.Ā He didn’t need me to make his day.Ā He’d already done that for himself.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Am I the kind of person who needs to make everything about me? Today I will be the Silent Witness, allowing other people to have their moment in the spotlight without my interference.

    Last Day

    • July 31, 2010 5:00 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Years ago I saw an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show about a family struggling with the notion of dividing items left to them by inheritance. They were arguing in front of Oprah and it was obvious some of them were in great distress.

    Oprah looked them all squarely in the eye and said, “Y’all know it’s not about the silverware, right?”

    They all looked back, blinking, not getting it.

    “It’s not about the silverware.”

    This line has become a joke and and oft repeated phrase in my own family. When there is an argument or when something ticks somebody off inevitably one of us will say, “It’s not about the silverware.”

    I’m hitting the road this morning and flying back home to the Yukon, where I live. It’s going to be a long day and I have a lengthy layover in Vancouver. I planned to pack my own food because it’s so much more convenient for me and I make better food than one can buy in an airport or on a plane.

    One of the meals I planned to make for myself is not going to happen because my mother tossed out the food with which I was going to make my supper. When I opened the fridge this morning and saw it completely bare I almost… what. Lost it? Over a bunch of kale? Yes. Yes, I did.

    It’s not about the kale.

    But I want it to be. Boy do I want it to be. But if you read yesterday’s blog then you and I both know that it goes much deeper than green leafy vegetables. And that is why, after a prayer that contained words describing violent fantasies, a few deep breaths and one giant-mega surrender, I chose to let it go.

    It’s only kale after all.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am angry or resentful of another person am I willing to admit there is more going on than what is immediately visible? Am I willing to own up to the deeper truth? I will pray for the willingness to make a Deep Surrender when my anger becomes too great to bear.

    Reach for the Top and Stop

    • July 30, 2010 8:11 am

    Dearest Readers,

    We inherit our parents’ behaviours. This is not news to anyone. They pass on to us all that they are and all that they know: the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

    Both of my parents are perfectionists. It’s no surprise that both of their parents are/were, too. I have struggled most of my life with the effects of this debilitating dis-ease and have done big time work on myself to overcome the suffering perfectionism can cause. As many of you know, I often refer to myself a “recovering perfectionist.”

    It’s easy for me to forget that just as there are two sides to every story so there is an asset to accompany every defect. I was reminded of this last night by my dear old dad.

    For the last couple of weeks I have been staying in Montreal with my parents in a house they are looking after for some friends of theirs. Tomorrow we are all leaving. My mother has been gearing up to do a “major job” on the house before we go.

    This has been the story of our lives. It’s the clean-your-room-the-cleaning-lady-is-coming syndrome. We leave houses in a better state than they were in when we arrived. If we break a glass it gets replaced with a set of six and some placemats on the side. In other words, we have been taught to go above and beyond, over the top, round the loopin’ bend of the call of duty.

    Though I am getting better at keeping my mouth shut in family situations I didn’t manage to do so successfully on this issue. There is a woman coming here to clean the house after we leave and still my mother was talking about this “major job” we had to do to get the house ready.

    So I turned my frustration into a little song while we were doing the dishes: “Above and beyond the call of duty/That’s why we’re so f’d up/Forcing us to go/Above and beyond/The call of duty…”

    My dad cracked up laughing (thank goodness a sense of humour has also been a cherished family trait) but then he said, “You wouldn’t have gotten where you are in life without going above and beyond the call of duty.”

    He was right. I couldn’t rebut. My personal drive can also be attributed to this powerful instinct to please others, to succeed, to do more and be more. If the defect of perfectionism is to go over the top then the asset surely must beĀ  to strive for one’s personal best.

    So I have to hand it to my parents. They gave me a lot of issues from which I am currently recovering but they gave me a lot to be grateful for as well. I owe them more than a critical song-and-dance number. I owe them my deepest thanks.

    Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and re-tile the guest bathroom.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Every negative attribute I have inherited from the generations before me has a positive side as well. I will recognize the asset in the defect and see if I can find the middle ground.