• Posts by Celia McBride

    Welcome Freshness

    • August 20, 2010 8:37 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s been grey and wet here in Whitehorse for a few days in a row now. We needed rain badly so no one dares to complain about it. I was on a hike last weekend and the mountain lichen was crunching underneath our feet like crispy cereal. This wet weather is very welcome.

    After almost a year of posting blogs it’s sometimes difficult to remember whether I’m repeating myself or if I’ve told the story elsewhere so if you’ve heard this one already, forgive me.

    When I was on Spiritual Retreat at the Naramata Centre last February I met a man on the road and we began to have a conversation. Of course, being human as we are, our discussion began with the weather. There was a light rain falling and the man found it very pleasant. He was from a dry place where rain was scarce.

    “It’s so fresh,” he said, taking a deep breath and smiling. “I just love this freshness.”

    Fresh? It was the first time I’d ever heard anyone describe a dull, dreary, rainy and grey day as fresh. I myself have always struggled to love rain. But when this man said that word and took that breath and smiled that smile I could feel the freshness he was talking about. The winter green around us got brighter and the cool air suddenly felt rich and moist.

    After that episode I am forever feeling the freshness of the rain. That man’s positive attitude completely shifted my experience of dreary weather.

    Talk about a fresh perspective.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Is there something in my life that needs a fresh pair of eyes? What can I look at differently today? I will find a way to gain a fresh perspective on something I have previously viewed with disdain.

    Power Surge

    • August 19, 2010 12:10 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday afternoon, while I was working away on the to-do list, our fair city experienced a power outage. The laptop sitting before me, the conduit for all of my business, made an ominous sounding “zzzt” and the screen went suddenly black. I found myself staring dumbfounded at a dead machine.

    RIP iBook G4.

    Yes, the little technical wizard that has been my constant and faithful companion for the last four years is now totally kaput. Burnt. Fried. Deader than a doornail.

    I’m surprisingly calm about it. This probably has to do with the fact that I backed everything up on an external hard drive just two weeks ago. Still, there is two weeks of work on there that may or may not be retrievable. But I’m still here, folks. We do survive the loss of things.

    A few years ago I saw an interview with the great writer Toni Morrison, who wrote one of my favourite books of all time, Song of Solomon, and she was talking about a house fire which had destroyed all of her unpublished and yet-to-be-published work. She was obviously devastated by the ordeal but also resigned to her new reality.

    “I have to let it go,” she said. There was nothing she could do.

    There is nothing I can do either. I may have lost almost 20 pages of a new play. Toni Morrison lost novels. I’m not comparing pain merely putting things into perspective.

    I can’t help thinking of what my reaction might have been a few short years ago. Rage. I might have damaged something. Today I feel no anger. I almost feel relief! I cannot access any of the files currently vying for my attention and so I’m being forced to let go absolutely of certain tasks. I am getting a much needed break.

    Perhaps that power outage was made just for me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will accept the things I cannot change. I will remember that my possessions do not make or break me. I will enjoy the freedom that comes from letting go.

    Last Day

    • July 31, 2010 5:00 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Years ago I saw an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show about a family struggling with the notion of dividing items left to them by inheritance. They were arguing in front of Oprah and it was obvious some of them were in great distress.

    Oprah looked them all squarely in the eye and said, “Y’all know it’s not about the silverware, right?”

    They all looked back, blinking, not getting it.

    “It’s not about the silverware.”

    This line has become a joke and and oft repeated phrase in my own family. When there is an argument or when something ticks somebody off inevitably one of us will say, “It’s not about the silverware.”

    I’m hitting the road this morning and flying back home to the Yukon, where I live. It’s going to be a long day and I have a lengthy layover in Vancouver. I planned to pack my own food because it’s so much more convenient for me and I make better food than one can buy in an airport or on a plane.

    One of the meals I planned to make for myself is not going to happen because my mother tossed out the food with which I was going to make my supper. When I opened the fridge this morning and saw it completely bare I almost… what. Lost it? Over a bunch of kale? Yes. Yes, I did.

    It’s not about the kale.

    But I want it to be. Boy do I want it to be. But if you read yesterday’s blog then you and I both know that it goes much deeper than green leafy vegetables. And that is why, after a prayer that contained words describing violent fantasies, a few deep breaths and one giant-mega surrender, I chose to let it go.

    It’s only kale after all.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am angry or resentful of another person am I willing to admit there is more going on than what is immediately visible? Am I willing to own up to the deeper truth? I will pray for the willingness to make a Deep Surrender when my anger becomes too great to bear.

    Last Travel Day

    • July 8, 2010 12:04 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    From this seat in the departure lounge of Gate A6 at LaGuardia airport I can see a strip of cloudy blue sky out the small, high windows and not much else. This section of LGA doesn’t get a lot of points for interior design but I’m not complaining. I’m just glad I made it this far.

    After a full month, the road-trip portion of my travels comes to an end with this afternoon’s flight. I have gathered enough stories for a hundred campfires. I have experienced humanity in all its suffering and all its glory. I have walked a little piece of the Earth with Courage and Love as my steadfast guides. What an incredible trip.

    Though I am not heading home to the Yukon today I am heading “home” to Montreal to stay with my sister until she delivers her baby. Apart from a year in Ireland in ’95 I spent a whole decade living in Montreal between 1990 and  2001. Each time I return to MTL she welcomes me back with open arms. Elle dit, “Bienvenue, ma chĂ©re.”

    What I have learned in this last month is a lot. Each day something new, each moment an opportunity to return to Be-ing. This is why I love to travel! Traveling opens the mind and heightens Awareness. The challenges arising from the travel experience force me to focus, BOOM, into the Now. Always. Right. Now.

    Admittedly, I do not do this perfectly. But as I always say, mindfulness is a practice. It’s not a goal we achieve and then we’re done. We do our best and our best is good enough.

    But hey, there’s nothing like a 32-day road-trip to make our best even better.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: What if I brought the Focus and Faith I rely on when I travel into my daily living experience? Today I will BOOM bring myself back into Be-ing as though I were in unfamiliar surroundings and had to do so for survival.

    Day 31 – NYC

    • July 7, 2010 11:10 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Sometimes it’s a pleasure to experience the Healing Path in action, to see how much we’ve changed and witness the devoted work we’ve been doing on ourselves paying off. I got that chance yesterday.

    On an escalator going up (how’s that for a metaphor) a man began to speak to me. His clothes were dirty and, like a snail, he seemed to be carrying all he owned in the world along with him.

    Probably because I gave him a great, big, fearless smile he was soon flirting with me and jokingly saying he was coming with me wherever I happened to be going. He was acting as if he’d just fallen in love.

    Not long ago I would have taken my great big smile back and closed my heart, shutting the door on his advances to protect myself from something “bad” happening. I would have turned cold and made that man re-think his behaviour. I would have allowed shame to rule the situation.

    Not anymore.

    What I have learned is that no one can take away my power unless I willingly give it to them. That man could have made me feel small and vulnerable had I let him. Repeat: had I let him.

    How about I don’t let him? How about I stay open and laugh right along with him? How about I hold my power and stand firm in it? How about continuing to smile that fearless smile?

    Now I’m not suggesting leaving ourselves open to harm. Those of you who read the blog I posted last week about purposefully avoiding a potentially abusive situation know that empowering ourselves also means protecting ourselves. But if the situation is harmless and our safety is assured, a fearless smile and an unguarded attitude makes the world a better place.

    That man and I parted ways, smiling fearlessly and laughing joyfully. We’d reached the top together.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will open my heart and embrace my fellow human. I will smile fearlessly and welcome the harmless stranger. I will hold my Power while performing these actions knowing that no one can take It from me unless I give it away.

    More Swami Sense

    • July 6, 2010 12:24 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    Sitting here in an air-conditioned coffee shop staring out at the corner of 7th Ave. and West 39th St. in New York City has me reflecting on the incredible adventure I’ve been on for the last four weeks.

    The Big Apple is the last leg of the “road trip” portion of my time away from home and I’m only here for a few days before I head to Montreal for the birth of my eldest sister’s first child. Coming to NYC seemed like a fitting way to transition from one to the other.

    How I love New York. The buzz of this city is unlike anything else in the world. It’s intense and it can be exhausting, especially in 38C temperatures, but I’m a show biz junkie and this city fills the cups of my dreams.

    As a kid, I used to fantasize about living here and being a dancer. When I come here now that wide-eyed, big-dreaming little girl is in heaven.

    I have had a couple of plays produced in New York by Looking Glass Theatre and despite the fact that it’s an off-off-off-off-off (keep going…) -Broadway company it was a thrill nonetheless. I’m here to have fun but that won’t stop me from looking for ways to create business opportunities at the same time.

    Already I’ve been guided to a potential future opportunity and it happened  totally by “accident”. I was wandering the streets this morning looking for an Internet cafe, turning corners at random and following intuitive leads. I found myself on a quiet street with red-brick buildings and large trees providing glorious shade. I suddenly felt very peaceful.

    Up ahead I saw a sign. “No way,” I said out loud. It was a sign for the Sivananda Yoga Center, New York chapter.

    In case you haven’t been reading these posts, I just finished leading a course at the Sivananda Yoga Retreat on Paradise Island not two weeks ago!

    Not only that, I found a little plastic card with Ganesha’s image on it at the place where I’m staying. When I turned it over to read the back it said, “Sivananda Yoga Retreat, Paradise Island.” What are the chances?

    Apparently, they’re pretty good.

    I’m taking these signs as Higher Guidance. Why not pitch Cultivate Your Courage to the New York Center?  After all, if I can make it here I’ll make it anywhere.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When you devote your life to serving your Gurus they will serve you right back.

    Give It Up

    • July 5, 2010 9:33 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Imagine going into a store to buy something you need and leaving that store with the item you needed and a whole bunch of other stuff you did not need. Imagine then checking out of your hotel and forgetting that first item, the one you actually needed, in the room.

    What is that? Irony? Murphy’s Law? The Forget-It Fairies?

    Regardless of its nature, this minor bummer didn’t, in fact, happen to me but it did happen to my roomie here in San Antonio. She needed a special kind of shampoo so we went into a cosmetics store to buy it and she ended up leaving with a whole skin cleansing system in addition to the shampoo.

    In her own words, “The sales clerk saw me coming.”

    This morning when I got up she had already left. The one item she left behind? Her special shampoo. I checked out myself a few hours later and left her shampoo sitting there on the counter. What I went through before I departed, however, is another story.

    Should I package it up and send it to her? The post office is closed. I could ask the concierge to send it to her. No address and besides, she’s not even going back to her home right away. I could forego the carry-on option and pack it in my luggage. It would cost me $55USD to check the bag.

    Who needs yoga when you’ve got a mind doing mental gymnastics like these?

    Of course, there was one more option to consider: letting it go. But the waste! The money, the shampoo, the packaging!

    Let it go. But… but… but…

    I find it so difficult to throw stuff out and to see useful things unused. I’ve been particularly challenged on this trip what with no recycling in either the Bahamas or New Orleans. So much plastic and glass being thrown in the garbage. So much waste in every corner of our cultural fabric. It can make a person crazy.

    When I feel this powerless I remember the words of a wise monk who once gave me some very practical advice. I had to destroy a wasp’s nest and couldn’t bear it. What should I do? “Offer it to God,” she told me.

    It seemed too simple. But… but… but…

    Offer it to God.

    Can I control the amount of waste in the world? No. I can do my part. That is all. What to do with the rest of it? There’s so much. It’s overwhelming.

    Offer it to God.

    Is this a cop-out? Some might think so. Like a Catholic confession, do what you want and be forgiven. Create all the waste you want and then offer it to God.

    No. This is not the idea. The idea is to offer up that which we cannot control or change. “This is too big for me. Take it.”

    Even if it’s as small as a bottle of shampoo.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: From oil spills to wasted products, there is so much in the world that makes me feel helpless and powerless. I will offer it all, including how I feel about it, to the Highest Power Back of All Things. I will trust that these things are being taken care of by the Unseen.

    Swami Sense

    • July 3, 2010 9:22 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This morning I opened a message from the Sivananda Yoga Retreat and contained within was a quote from Swami Sivananda.

    Here it is:

    “Though surrounded by pleasurable or painful objects to disturb your equilibrium of mind, remain immovable as a rock, receiving all things with equanimity. Be always cheerful. Laugh and smile. How can a mind that is gloomy and dull think of God? Try to be happy always. Happiness is your very nature. This is termed cheerfulness. This spirit of cheerfulness must be cultivated by all aspirants.”

    Exactly what I need to hear. So challenging to do!

    My surroundings are currently jammers with pleasurable and painful objects, my equilibrium of mind most definitely disturbed.  I am doing my utmost to remain immovable as a rock and practicing diligently the art of receiving all things with equanimity. Some moments are better than others.

    Happiness may be my very nature but self-centeredness is my default operating system. It’s all about me all the time and when things don’t go my way or when I’m trying to make things go my way I have completely forgotten about cultivating cheerfulness and the trusting the Higher Path. Gloomy and dull, indeed.

    What if it really were that simple? “Be always cheerful. Laugh and smile.” I actually think it is. I make it complicated. But this and but that. I like my misery thank you very much. Perpetuate the suffering. Prolong the winter of discontent. Reject glorious summer.

    Old BS (belief systems).

    Am I willing to let go of them? Am I willing to allow new ways of thinking to come in and take hold? Am I willing to surrender my old ideas? Yes, yes and yes.

    Back at home I have a photograph of Swami Sivananda in the meditation room. He is smiling serenely with the look of pure love on his face. The embodiment of cheerfulness. The True Nature of Happiness. I’m practicing it right now, Swami S. See me?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I am willing to practice cheerfulness despite my disturbed mind. I will remember the Great Teachers who have come before me to show me that my True Nature is Bliss Divine.

    How Are You?

    • July 2, 2010 6:43 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s the end of the day and I’ve hit a wall of fatigue so what kind of inspiration can I offer y’all today? I’m at a conference in Texas and it’s incredibly exciting and majorly exhausting all at the same time.

    At one point this afternoon I met a couple and the gal asked me how I was doing. Instead of saying, “Good how are you?” which is the standard answer to that kind of greeting I said, “I’m a little overwhelmed actually.”

    Both she and her partner were impressed when I continued to share about how I was feeling. “Thanks for saying how you’re really doing,” they said. They appreciated my honesty.

    It wasn’t so much honesty on my part as it was a need to shift my emotional state of being. I’ve learned that when I tell the truth about myself from my heart the act of doing so can move me from fear to Love. It was Self survival time more than anything else.

    As I left the couple they thanked me again. And as I post this blog the fatigue has shifted to thankfulness. It may not be much but it’s enough for me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day    : When someone asks me how I’m doing I will say the Truth. Not only will it shift my own state of Being it may also inspire the one who asked.

    Day 25

    • July 1, 2010 10:36 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Wake up in New Orleans and bed down in San Antonio. Now I know how rock stars feel.

    I’m here with a whole bunch of friends and the transition from lone wolf to pack animal is requiring some effort on my part. The temptation is to shut down, retreat, close myself off. This is old behaviour.

    When I was a kid one of the ways I would seek attention was to become sullen and morose. That way everybody would ask me, “What’s wrong?” I didn’t do this deliberately. In fact, I had no idea my behaviour was that calculated. It took quite a lot of Inner Work to see this pattern revealed.

    When that Old BS resurfaced yesterday I was surprised. It constantly astonishes me to discover that when I am feeling insecure or vulnerable the old belief systems can return in a flash.

    So, the solution. I’ve recognized what’s going on, now what? Become willing to change and to let go. Share with someone the truth about how I’m really feeling. Be gentle and loving with myself. Think before I speak so I don’t say something I’ll regret later.

    When I take this kind of Healing Action things begin to shift and I find myself returning to Grace.

    Ah, yes. There is more work to be done. I’m not perfect yet.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am feeling particularly insecure I will take the steps necessary to shift my Energy back to Love. It is not easy to do this work but I am ever willing to change and be changed by Right Thinking and Action.