• Posts by Celia McBride

    Live Free

    • February 11, 2010 9:47 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s ALFF time in our fair city and last night I got to see an amazing documentary called 65_RedRoses about a young woman living with Cystic Fibrosis. Talk about inspiring.

    The main character, Eva Markvoort, is one courageous cookie. At one point in the film she is talking about the reality of her dying and she says, in essence, “You have to look at your own death, you have to feel that and go through it and then you can move on.”

    The beginning of my work as an Inspiring Coach can probably be traced back to the moment when I faced my own death, grieved the loss of my life and became willing to die. It was an awakening that has continued to help me to walk through my fear each and every day.

    The discovery that my fear of death was actually the big mother fear at the root of all my little fears and anxieties led me to finally confront it head on. I’ve written about this experience before. I was on an airplane and the fear of crashing was so intense that I had no other recourse. I simply had to go there.

    As a result of accepting the fact that I do not know when or how I am going to die I have been able to let go of many of the control issues, which, as I mentioned, stem from this underlying knowledge of my true lack of control.

    My fear of death still comes up and I still have to practice letting go of the illusion of control but embracing death has brought a profound richness to my life. Without the denial of death’s reality I am able to breathe freely in the experience of being alive.

    Eva Markvoort looked her death straight in the eye. She accepted the reality of her dying. And then she got on with the business of living. She is the embodiment of courage, in my eyes.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: By going to the very core of my fear I can be freed of the power it holds over me. I can walk through it, let go and move forward into a deeper and fuller existence.

    Sweater Heaven

    • February 10, 2010 9:40 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I shared the following post on Facebook:

    “Celia McBride wants you to know that hand-washing your cashmere sweaters can actually boost your self-esteem.”

    Was I being facetious? Not entirely.

    Sweaters love me and I love sweaters. I actually wear sweaters in July, much to the chagrin of my t-shirt loving girlfriends. Some of my sweaters need hand-washing and, like vacuuming (see earlier post), I will put this task off for as long as humanly possible.

    A few days ago I finally started taking action to wash the four sweaters that so badly needed it. I told myself I could tackle the job one sweater at a time. And that is what I did. In baby steps.

    First sweater came out of the closet and onto the chair. Then into the kitchen. Then into a pot with soap. Let it soak. That evening scrubbed and rinsed and hung to dry. Why not number two? Out of the closet, directly into the pot, repeat.

    Four days later and the last one has been soaking overnight in the pot and will be hung to dry today. Not exactly OHIO, but progress, friends, not perfection.

    Where does the self-esteem part come in? Well, after sweater number two, I felt good about myself for having done the thing I was avoiding. My energy shifted. I experienced satisfaction and pleasure knowing the job was getting done and I had taken the action necessary to do it.

    Bonus track: four clean sweaters!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can feel good about ourselves by accomplishing the simplest of tasks. Today I will take on a simple task in order to boost my self-esteem and feel the joy of accomplishment.

    Take it Down a Notch (or Seven)

    • February 9, 2010 9:49 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As a result of some of the challenges I’ve been experiencing with the Big O Project I have had to do a lot of “right-sizing” both with my ego and with the job itself.

    By “right-sizing” I mean putting things in their proper perspective. I’m a recovering extremist and the child of an exaggerator and much of the healing work I’ve done over the last decade has involved this process of shifting my perception back to the actual reality of the situation.

    If you haven’t seen Spinal Tap, the mockumentary by Christopher Guest, then surely you’ve heard the expression, “It goes to eleven,” that comes from the movie. “Eleven” refers to the noise-level on the guitar amplifier belonging to the character of Nigel Tufnel, Spinal Tap’s lead guitarist. All the other amps in the world go to 10 but his goes to 11.

    Once, when I was in an emotional situation that seemed enormous, my friend said to me, “Celia, you come in at 11. Maybe you could approach this situation differently. Try coming in at 4.”

    In other words, RELAX.

    So in the last couple of weeks I’ve gone from saying, “I’m in the middle of the biggest job of my entire life, it’s just HUGE,” to saying, “I happen to be doing a job right now that is asking me to operate on a bigger scale than I am used to.”

    Taking it from 11 to 4 has helped me to enjoy the process again, release the pressure, and right-size the experience. It’s a job. Period. It will come to an end and then there will be another job. Period.

    As much as Nigel drew pleasure from the extreme power of his amp, I am learning to draw pleasure from the power that exists on the middle ground.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Putting things in their proper perspective takes the pressure off and allows me to rejoice in the simple activities of the day.

    The Present

    • February 8, 2010 9:47 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As the love and support continues to pour in for who I am and what I do I am truly humbled by the kindness and generosity so many of you have shown me. Thank you for being on my team.

    Now a word (or two) on meditation…

    Just over ten years ago I was looking after a couple of kids while their parents were away. Their mother had a yoga practice and although I had a knowledge of yoga and had been taught some of the asanas, I did not have a practice, let alone a devoted one. This particular mama had yoga video tapes and one morning while the kids were in school I put one on and followed it.

    At the end of the practice it came time for savasana. As you may or may not know, savasana, AKA the Corpse Pose, is often the last posture to be taken in a class. It’s the resting and restorative pose that allows our bodies to integrate and feel the benefits of the entire practice in which we’ve just engaged.

    Lemme tell ya somethin’, folks. Ten years ago, I could not relax enough to lie in this posture for ten minutes. I kept sitting up to see if I’d missed the end of it somehow. No joke. I’m lying on the mat going, “Come on! Are you serious?” and then I’d peek up at the tape again. At the time, those ten minutes felt like an eternity. I had zero patience.

    Meditation is the art of being present. People think meditation means you have to clear your mind of everything and be some kind of a supreme being. No. It is the simple practice of being in your life as it is happening.

    Yesterday I spent 12 hours in a studio working with a multimedia artist on our video for the Big O Project. Most of the time he was working on the computer and I was waiting for him to show me something. For twelve hours I was able to sit there and be present in my life as it was happening.

    For a gal who could not lie down and be still for ten minutes this is a miracle.

    I attribute this miracle to meditation. Learning how to sit still and breathe and observe my thoughts. It began by lying on a mat, sitting in a chair, doing NO thing.

    As I developed an ability to do this much I carried the practice into my daily life. Being on the bus, tying my laces, doing the dishes, etc. Through the practice of meditation I’ve learned how to be present in my life as it is happening.

    Impatience still comes up. I still look for distractions. I still avoid the stillness sometimes, not wanting to go there, not wanting to find out what I need to hear or feel. But meditation has changed my life for the better. It has landed me in my life, in my body, in this Celia skin, where I have learned to really love myself and others.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice meditation in all its varying forms. Lying down, sitting, breathing is just the beginning. I will practice landing in my life and being present to who I am and what I do.

    We All Need Somebody to Lean On

    • February 6, 2010 9:31 am

    Dearest Readers,

    During a summer road trip with lover a few years ago the two of us were sharing some of the more intimate parts of our lives with each other while driving along the deserted highway. As we pulled over at a rest stop this lover got out of the car and approached me for a hug, saying, “I need life support.” The sharing was that deep.

    This expression is now one I use whenever I need a hug or an ear or a shoulder to lean on. I have to carefully choose to whom I say these words because not everyone is able to give life support. Sometimes the moment isn’t the best either.

    Yesterday I was in need of big time life support. I ran into a friend and, for a moment, considered saying it right then. But the timing wasn’t great so I said nothing. Moments later, we were interrupted by a fracas and I was glad I’d held my tongue.

    So I asked The Life Force Energy of the Universe for life support instead. I prayed for help. And I got it.

    First, I received an invitation to tea, during which time I and a girlfriend chatted and laughed and listened to one another share. I was able to process what I had been through that day and come out the other side.

    The second and third responses to my request came in the guise of voice mail messages. When I got home after the tea date there were two messages waiting for me. Both were from friends calling to tell me they love me, love the work I do and support me unconditionally.

    Thank you, friends, for answering my prayer and for performing CPR on my self-confidence right when I needed it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will reach out and ask for life support when I need it. I will trust that it will come back to me in unexpected ways.

    Dispense with Defense

    • February 5, 2010 9:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I got a call from the local press wanting to interview me about The Big O Project. I was expecting a friendly interview and what I got was accusatory challenge. Nice surprise.

    Some of you will remember an earlier blog about the criticism surrounding the fact I hired a composer from Toronto to work with me as a co-writer on the Yukon Anthem section of the project. Well, the reporter who called me was bound and determined to shame me for doing so.

    Most of the interview was spent explaining and defending my decision. I hung up the phone feeling sick to my stomach. But then I had an epiphany. (Don’t you love it when you have moments of sudden insight after the fact? Big help!)

    Here is what I realized: There is nothing to defend or explain. I acted according to my intuition, which is connected to Higher Guidance. Let them think what they want, write what they want, believe what they want!

    Next time I’m asked to defend my position I simply won’t.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I cannot convince the rest of the world to see things my way. If I know in my heart that I have made the best decision possible, that I have stayed true to my Highest Self, then no one and nothing can move me.

    Be the Tree

    • February 4, 2010 9:50 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I received a couple of emails regarding the Big O Project that made me want to poke a stick in my eye so I shut off the computer and went to have a rest. My brain, however, wouldn’t stop thinking so I got up and went to my friends’ empty house and watched an hour of television.

    Television is something I rarely look at. I don’t have one and the only time I get to see what’s on TV is when I stay in a hotel. Believe me, this is not about being noble. I’m actually a TV addict and abstinence is the only cure. I used to watch it when I didn’t want to be watching it. TV is an energy-sucker and I would get sucked in for hours.

    As we all know, there is a lot of crap on TV but there is also good television. When I turned the box on yesterday evening it was tuned to PBS, the American Public Broadcaster, and the show that was airing was Ken Burn’s The National Parks: America’s Best Idea.

    Vanity Fair magazine had recently published a story about Teddy Roosevelt, the President who managed to secure so much of what is now National Park land in the US and I had read the article with interest. The part of program that was airing when I tuned in was describing precisely the same information as the VF piece had, which was a lovely bit of synchronicity to calm me down.

    One particular shot from the show has stayed with me until this morning. A photograph of a group of men, Roosevelt and his entourage, standing in front of an ancient sequoia tree. Of course, you cannot see that it is a tree trunk behind them because it is too huge. It looks like a wall of bark. The camera simply couldn’t capture it’s breadth. The narrator tells us the tree is estimated to be 3500 years old.

    When I get emails that make me want to poke sticks in my eyes it is of great benefit to me to remember things like 3500 year old sequoia trees. Ancient, steadfast, lasting stillness. It was here long before me and it will be here long after I’m gone. True Power. True strength.

    When I measure the day-to-day minutiae of my life against the enduring Power of Nature I am humbled by how small my “problems” really are. What is really important? Yes, my work is important. But when I remember that my life is but a blink of the Universe’s eye, everything is put in proper perspective and nothing can rattle me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will not be shaken or stirred by life’s “problems”. In the face of frustration I will emulate the Power of the steadfast Sequoia.

    Right Place, Right Time

    • February 3, 2010 10:41 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Here is further proof that when we commit to working in tandem with the Life Force Energy of the Universe, this Force will support us and guide us in all that we do.

    A couple of weeks ago I was in the middle of a pretty challenging situation and needed help to process my emotional journey through the mire. I have a Spiritual Director but she is currently hiking through the Yucatan and was not available.

    Last month I had come across a pamphlet advertising a local woman’s services as counselor/spiritual guide. I took down her number thinking I might need it one day.

    When the s%&# hit the fan I called this woman’s number and miraculously she was available to see me that day. I went to her office and we ended up having a great session. I left feeling as though I was on the other side of the inner chaos.

    While in the session, I shared about my vision of fearlessness and my commitment to inspiring others to cultivate courage and walk through fear. I realized that part of what I was needing to process was letting go of the fear of disappointing people.

    With all this talk of fear, this woman said to me, “I think I have something for you.” She got up and went away, came back and gave me a book: The Fear Book: Facing Fear Once and For All by Cheri Huber.

    “I picked it up this morning,” she told me. “I didn’t know why I was picking it up. I didn’t think I really needed it — I wasn’t sure it was for me.” It wasn’t. It was for me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: The Power that is back of all things has my back. I trust that I am being looked after, guided, supported and loved by the One Who Sustains All Things.

    Making Progress

    • February 2, 2010 9:47 am

    Dearest Readers,

    A friend sent me this prayer, written by a former slave:

    Lord, we ain’t what we want to be,
    we ain’t what we ought to be,
    we ain’t what we gonna be,
    but thank God,
    we ain’t what we was.

    This makes me think of “progress not perfection.” In times of struggle, it can be difficult to recognize progress. I often get mired in what I’m not doing well instead of looking at how much better I am dealing with the situation than I did in the past.

    One of the keys to being a great self-coach or our own best friend is to remind ourselves how well we are doing. We can never do this too often.

    Maybe I’m not perfect yet but I’m on the healing path and I’m doing my best each and every day. Some days my best is better than other days. But that’s okay, too.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I am doing really well today. My fear tells me I’m not, that I could be doing more. But I refuse to listen. No matter what, my best is good enough!

    Give Yourself a Break

    • February 1, 2010 9:03 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Awhile back, in a post called Run for Your Life I blogged about needing more cardio-vascular exercise. I made a commitment to myself that each Sunday I would run up a looooong outdoor staircase that we have here in our fair city.

    So far, so good. I think I’ve only missed one Sunday and on that day I ran to the corner store and back to make up for it. For the fun of it, I’ve also started running to meetings or appointments instead of walking. I don’t run all the way, just a block or two, but it gets my heart rate up and I get there faster, too.

    Yesterday was an outdoor stair-master day but I decided to mix it up a little. Some friends of mine are out of town and they’ve asked me to check on their house once a day in exchange for the use of their car. Normally I drive to their neighbourhood, which is about a 45-minute walk from where I live, but why not run there instead?

    Because I haven’t actually “run” in years and years, I decided to set the bar as low as possible. Rather than pushing myself to run all the way there without stopping I decided I would walk and run.

    This walk-and-run system is one I developed in Edmonton, where I once lived for four months. At the time, I had a “yoga” practice that one of my sisters called “Yoga Balboa”, named for Rocky Balboa, the character in the Sylvester Stallone films. She once did the routine with me and, expecting asanas, instead got low-impact aerobics and stretching, hence the nickname.

    Doing Yoga Balboa everyday will start the body craving for a more rigorous workout. So in order to satisfy the craving I started running. Again, I hadn’t run for years, so the walk-and-run system was born.

    It’s a simple formula: run until you feel like you’re going to puke and then walk until it passes. Repeat.

    So yesterday I set out to walk-and-run to my friends’ house. The weather was perfect. I ran until I was out of breath, walked until I caught it, and then ran some more.

    There were moments when I was running and I felt really good! I remembered what it was like to actually go for a jog and enjoy it. My energy and stamina were surprisingly high and it was extremely satisfying to use my body this way.

    I managed to make it there and back in less than an hour. Who says you have to jog the entire distance of a run? Taking breaks when we need them is just fine.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will take breaks when and where I need them. Going the distance doesn’t have to mean full-speed ahead!